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If this Waking Life DJ set was my last ever, I’m ok with that…….

The best DJ set I’ve ever played (that was recorded, at least)….

Without a friggin’ doubt. Hands down. Those who were there had the opportunity to behold me at the very pinnacle of my prowess as a Disk Jockey. Risk. Risk. Risk! I threw all caution to the wind and went nuts.
During that particular set, I perfected my three turntable technique.
Never was there a time that I wasn’t mixing.

And what a “hook-up” with regard to my set time. It was the exact peak-time nexus of the entire event.
Twelve O’clock Midnight on a Saturday. Well over 85% of the entire festival attendance seemed to be over at my stage for the hours I played.

If I were in a position to know that I would continue to “DJ out,” the template for how I would proceed with my growth and development as a Master level DJ is now crystal clear. But for whatever reason, I felt a very strong, palpable even sense that for me, the summer was over.
This is partially due to the fact that Waking Life used to be in late August. But even more than that, because I have zero bookings on the horizon. No idea where any would even come from. And zero desire to chase any.
As it all seems like a a pointless waste. One that actually detracts from the art and artistry. Whatever the root cause,
I had a strong sense that the end of whatever I was placed in this scene to do had been fully accomplished.
A sense of total completion.

Never ice-skate uphill. Never take a piss in the wind…

Self explanatory. Right?
And at this point, me trying to do anything in the club scene with regard to attempting to advance as an inspired, creative individual would be likened unto the metaphors stated above. And this is truly indisputable. As anyone paying even the most miniscule amount of attention can clearly see the all too real “glass ceiling” I’ve been up against for the past 7-8 years. Thus, rational thought, sanity, the facts, and common sense dictate that I do something different if I wish to have a different result regarding my artistic output , and how I share and present it to the world.

The writing on the wall….

It IS what it is. I accept(ed) this and thus am moving (have moved) on. LOL! No one should be surprised at this point though. As I am the type of person who “gets things done.” Impossible things most would never even attempt. Regularly.
As stated many times, I have a very strong aversion to wasting time. Because wasting time gets nothing done.
And in this case, not heeding the “warning signs,” etc. would only be to my own detriment.
The writing on the wall clearly says “You are not welcome, needed, nor appreciated here. So kick rock!’
Got’cha. Loud and clear.

I am finally free from the enslavement that kills creativity…

Art and commerce have never, nor ever will they be “good bedfellows.” and after well past long enough to know better, I choose art and artistry over whatever it is the scene has allowed itself to devolve into.
Working a “normal job” to provide for my needs frees me from the creatively restricting clout-chase required to become and or remain “relevant” enough to be awarded an opportunity to earn a living in the discipline I worked tirelessly to become one of the best in the entire world at.
Apparently, I’m not in this (or rather, wasn’t in this) for the reasons most pursue a career in the club music niche of the music industry. As I viewed it as an extension of my music performance education, etc.
Being “classically trained” as I am; I naively assumed that I was joining an international “artist’s collective” of elite composers and performers. But I was mistaken.
Incredibly so. But now that I “know better,” I must “do better.” Because I see a lot of fitting in, naked kings, desperation, pay-to-play, cronyism, and outright fuckery. This scene/industry, and the obligatory “clout chase” distorts people.
Tell me where I lied.

Night and day…

The way I am viewed and treated at my “day job” versus the scene is astounding.
It’s nuts how well people treat you when they do not view you as competition, envy you, and or wish they were you but hate you because they can never be you.
My head Chef even mistook my humility for low self esteem. As they have never seen such a kind, humble, righteous (Godly) “gentleman.” Yet many in the “scene” imagine me to be arrogant.
Rest assured 99% of those who might hold this view have never spent any real time with me in person.
Just some interesting thoughts…..

My best work yet may never be released….

Why??? Waste of time and energy. On top of this, I will no longer allow the “vultures” to pick my bones clean.
Stepping back from the rat-race at the peak of my growth and development as a premier artist in my field is the most epic “mic drop” ever!
I also get to preserve what little artistic integrity, humanity, and unadulterated soul I still have left.
Because to “go as hard” as I do, only to get tumbleweeds, hate, suppression, and outright envy directed back for my earnest efforts falls squarely in the realm of being “not it.” Therefore, knowing that I “escaped” the “Venus flytrap” with my integrity, dignity, sanity, humanity, and my very soul intact is the ultimate coup against the “industry” that is purpose built to exploit, enslave, and destroy true art, artistry, and artists.
Thus, walking away with the full knowledge that my best work as a club music producer will never be exploited is a bit of sweet “get back.”

Always leave the audience wanting more

I learned this in my mid-teenage years working as a professional orchestral musician. And I learned it well.

I was told that my final set was recorded…

LOL! I wrote this blog post about five or six weeks ago and have been patiently waiting for the set to be officially uploaded.
And apparently, it finally has been. So.. yay!

In the meantime…

I have at least one more EP coming out.
“Chasms” EP on Thomas Melchior’s label My king is light. Apparently it is hitting stores around the world this week.
Quite likely the very last record I will ever release on a label other than my own “Building 7.”
However, with that said… I am not entirely sure that my own label will continue. As I cannot ascertain whether or not I have the support base to even fully sell limited press “boutique runs” of 250 units per release.
This remains to be seen.

Click image for link

*(But now…. with that said; I do in fact love what the scene and culture was/was intended to be/and is in theory.
It’s just that we seem to have lost our collective way somewhere in the last six or seven years. Which has resulted in the scene being twisted and contorted into the exact polar opposite of what it originally was.
And as a person with common sense, a moral code, dignity, and self respect; I gotta leave the fuckery to those who enjoy, and or don’t mind tolerating such things; and get outta the way. However, I still hope to contribute to the culture through my label “Building 7” which has a new release coming soon. xx

I shared this to the book the other day….

“I have a record coming out soon.
Not exactly sure when, but it appears to be within the next few weeks.
It may very well be the last dance music EP I ever put out. Unless my label “Building 7” picks up, etc.
My Mother told me as a child to “Never overstay my welcome.” Nor to remain in a place where my presence is not wanted.”
The end of an era is at hand. I’ve been meaning to blog about it.
But it seems futile. And since I have a huge aversion to wasting time…..
Well. Moot point. But for the 1% of you who actually appreciate my contributions to the scene; I’ll try to get motivated enough to connect the dots between the artist I was, and the artist I am now for the people I feel I owe that to.
In the meantime, Do something non-club orientated. There’s an entire world out there.
One that is infinitely more positive, fulfilling, healthy, and real.

Right then… that’s done…

This bears repeating….
I did a mini-post about what comes next for me as a musician. You can check for it here.


Until next time…..
R.A.A. x

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Adieu…. On to new horizons.

So, the mathematics;
a bit over 3 months ago, I began logging an average of 20 hours a day learning EVERTYHING necessary to truly “level up” as a legit audio engineer, heavy metal producer, mix engineer, and mastering engineer. (as well as a progressive metal band multi-instrumentalist; bass, guitar, drums, singer/lyricist, etc.)
90 days times 20 hours = 1800 hours. At least!

*(interesting note… I looked up how many hours required to get a bachelor’s degree from “Berklee”, and or “Full Sail” and it looks like I’ve surpassed their requirements. Purely autodidactically.
Just to give an idea of what type of time I am on as an artist.
I take my work, progress, and output very seriously).

I’ve fallen down a bottomless pit of creative obsession like never before. By the time this, my masterwork is completed, I will have put more time, blood, sweat tears, and pure soul into it than almost every other project I’ve ever completed, combined.

At the completion of what is most likely the last House/Techno EP I will ever create, the “No Gimmicks EP,” I came to the realization that I have now fully mastered the crafts of creating and DJing the specific niche/sub-genre(s) of club music I fell in love with over 30 years ago.
Thus, it no longer offers me the challenge I need to continue to remain as motivated as I need to be in order to create on the level I need to so that I can be satisfied that I am constantly progressing as an artist. Not to mention the club-scene lameness aspect I plan to address in more detail later in this blog.

Long story short, to fulfill my potential as a God-gifted musical genius, I need many conditions, people, places, things, and stimuli I simply do not, and or cannot receive by treading the worn and tired path of a creative “sunk cost fallacy.”
I’m out.
On to new horizons. Higher heights and deeper depths of creativity. I will take with me all the hard lessons learned with regard to what should not be done in the era of the internet clout-chase/rat-race.

Anonymous. The music will speak for itself. Hidden identity.
Because “cult of personality” simply does not matter.
The aim is to supersede my level of accomplishment, critical acclaim, and underground cult-hero status in a completely new genre.
Seems implausibly impossible. And thus supremely attractive for a true iconoclastic rebel who has ZERO desire to ever go-along to get along.
LOL! I can reveal my identity here, because 99%+++ of the people here on the book will never check for the work I would most like them to hear. Which is fine. Because this means that less than 1% of my new fans will actually have any idea as to who the members of “Gain of Function” are.
*(this began as a fakebook post, but then I remembered I don’t do that anymore. So it became a blog post to be shared on the book/timeline, etc).

So in closing….
I’ve swapped out the old files for the fixed and final versions of the album instrumentals. I also re-wrote over 50% of the album.
2 fully new tracks, and several sections are completely different now. Those truly interested can really check out where my “sonic heart” is. And the true followers of my work can marvel at just how sonically pleasing the mix-downs now are..
As opposed to the harsh, hissy, and abrasive sonic textures the music had before I dove head-first into the deep end of truly leveling up my game as a bona-fide “recording artist.”

Blog will come one day. Perhaps after the lyrics are fully written and recorded. As my album is much more of a priority than anything club-scene related.
But until then….
Enjoy the sounds, emotions, and the pleasant tactile feeling of some sweet saturated distortion.

Don’t sleep if you’re in the least bit interested. Because these tracks will go “private” without warning in a few. 😶

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Berlin Gig This Weekend


For the very small but loyal group of friends who check for me when I play in this city, I will be there this weekend.

If you want to come through and enjoy listening to the new Building 7 vinyl on the excellent sound system they have at Heideglühen, inbox me for a guest list spot.

Short and sweet blog post this time. As the album is taking every spare minute I have when I am not at work, or on Pappa duty, etc.

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The Hidden truth about the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, Is BLM legit, and Chaos inducing Puppet Masters – “Thoughts of a Social Iconoclast”

Thank you all very much for reading…..

I must humbly admit that the response to my last blog post and Facebook mini-essays has been quite surprising in the best possible way.
It is my aim with this series of essays to strip back the “veil of deception” that shrouds so much of the true history we are not taught in order to assist my beloved in breaking free from the true “Matrix” of lies that keep us shackled to the walls of Plato’s Cave, and or the term employed by the “bad guy elites” the ‘Artificial Womb”.

For the sake of scientific accuracy, and proper journalistic research practices, you must all pardon me for the technical nature of the first half of this essay.
There will be a lot of facts, dates, and historical factiods…., etc.

I cite references through hyperlinking, attributing quotes, and all that science-y stuff in order to establish credibility with the reader(s).
And also out of respect to the gravity of such a “touchy” subject.

A Social Iconoclast…..

Not amused

I, a philosophical, rational, logical thinker with a probing mind, may function at times as a bit of a social iconoclast.

“Iconoclasts see things differently than other people. Literally. They see things differently because their brains do not fall into efficiency traps as much as the average person’s brain. Iconoclasts, because they were either born that way or they learned to be that way, have found ways to work around the perceptual shortcuts that plague most people…..
Iconoclasts, at least successful ones, have a preternatural affinity for new experiences. Where most people shy away from new experiences, the iconoclast embraces novelty.
The problem with novelty for most people, however, is that it triggers some sort of fear system of the brain. Fear is the second major impediment to thinking like an iconoclast and stops the average person dead in their tracks….
There are many types of fear, but the two types of fear that inhibit iconoclastic thinking are fear of uncertainty and fear of public ridicule…..
The true iconoclast, although they may also experience these types of fears, does not let them inhibit his actions”
– excerpt from the book “Iconoclast: A Neuroscientist Reveals how to Think Differently”

Today we peel back the web of lies and obfuscation with regard to the true origins of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade.
It could be argued, quite (successfully mind you) that the Atlantic Slave Trade may never have existed were it not for Africans originating it by selling other Africans.
Of course, this is a highly controversial thesis. Therefore we must comb through the evidence very carefully.

That said, let’s dive in!

The origin…..

A philosopher once said that behind every civilization, there’s barbarism

The Atlantic slave trade or transatlantic slave trade involved the transportation by slave traders of enslaved African people, mainly to the Americas. The slave trade regularly used the triangular trade route and its Middle Passage, and existed from the 16th to the 19th centuries. The vast majority of those who were enslaved and transported in the transatlantic slave trade were people from Central and West Africa, who had been sold by other West Africans, or by half European ‘merchant princes’ to Western European slave traders (with a small number being captured directly by the slave traders in coastal raids), who brought them to the Americas. Except for the Portuguese, European slave traders generally did not participate in the raids because life expectancy for Europeans in sub-Saharan Africa was less than one year during the period of the slave trade (which was prior to the development of quinine as a treatment for malaria). The South Atlantic and Caribbean economies were particularly dependent on labour for the production of sugarcane and other commodities. This was viewed as crucial by those Western European states which, in the late 17th and 18th centuries, were vying with each other to create overseas empires. – Wikipedia

In the 16th century (1500s) The Portuguese traveled to the Continent of Africa seeking gold. Instead, the rich kings they encountered offered them slaves.
“Until the late medieval era, southern Europe constituted an important market for North African merchants who brought gold and other commodities—and small numbers of slaves—in caravans across the Sahara Desert. But during the early fifteenth century, advances in nautical technology (especially the invention of the caravel, with its aerodynamic hull and triangular lateen sails) enabled Portuguese mariners to travel south along Africa’s Atlantic coast in search of a direct maritime route to gold-producing regions in sub-Saharan West Africa. Founded in 1482 near the town of Elmina in present-day Ghana, the feitoria São Jorge da Mina was of special importance in that it gave the Portuguese far better access to sources of West African gold.”

Elmina castle….

Elmina Castle was erected by the Portuguese in 1482 as Castelo de São Jorge da Mina (St. George of the Mine Castle), also known as Castelo da Mina or simply Mina (or Feitoria da Mina) in present-day Elmina, Ghana (formerly the Gold Coast). It was the first trading post built on the Gulf of Guinea, and the oldest European building in existence south of the Sahara. First established as a trade settlement, the castle later became one of the most important stops on the route of the Atlantic slave trade. The Dutch seized the fort from the Portuguese in 1637, after an unsuccessful attempt to the same extent in 1596, and took over all of the Portuguese Gold Coast in 1642. The slave trade continued under the Dutch until 1814. In 1872, the Dutch Gold Coast, including the fort, became a possession of Great Britain.

I wonder if this piece of history will be canceled?

The Gold Coast, which is now Ghana, gained its independence in 1957 from Britain, and had control of the castle. Elmina Castle is a historical site, and was a major filming location for Werner Herzog‘s 1987 drama film Cobra Verde. The castle is recognized by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site.

Slavery in Africa…..

Slavery has historically been widespread in Africa, and still continues today in some African countries.

Systems of servitude and slavery were common in parts of Africa in ancient times, as they were in much of the rest of the ancient world. When the Arab slave trade (which started in the 7th century) and Atlantic slave trade (which started in the 16th century) began, many of the pre-existing local African slave systems began supplying captives for slave markets outside Africa.

Slavery in historical Africa was practiced in many different forms: Debt slavery, enslavement of war captives, military slavery, slavery for prostitution, and criminal slavery were all practiced in various parts of Africa. Slavery for domestic and court purposes was widespread throughout Africa. Plantation slavery also occurred, primarily on the eastern coast of Africa and in parts of West Africa. The importance of domestic plantation slavery increased during the 19th century, due to the abolition of the Atlantic slave trade. Many African states dependent on the international slave trade reoriented their economies towards legitimate commerce worked by slave labor.

Slavery was prevalent in many parts of Africa for many centuries before the beginning of the Atlantic slave trade. There is evidence that enslaved people from some parts of Africa were exported to states in Africa, Europe, and Asia prior to the European colonization of the Americas.

It has been said that Africa has suffered so much because of it’s self inflicted curse, by selling so many of it’s own people away

The Atlantic slave trade was not the only slave trade from Africa, although it was the largest in volume and intensity. As Elikia M’bokolo wrote in Le Monde diplomatique:The African continent was bled of its human resources via all possible routes. Across the Sahara, through the Red Sea, from the Indian Ocean ports and across the Atlantic. At least ten centuries of slavery for the benefit of the Muslim countries (from the ninth to the nineteenth) … Four million enslaved people exported via the Red Sea, another four million through the Swahili ports of the Indian Ocean, perhaps as many as nine million along the trans-Saharan caravan route, and eleven to twenty million (depending on the author) across the Atlantic Ocean.

By 1494, the Portuguese king had entered agreements with the rulers of several West African states that would allow trade between their respective peoples, enabling the Portuguese to “tap into” the “well-developed commercial economy in Africa … without engaging in hostilities”. “Peaceful trade became the rule all along the African coast”, although there were some rare exceptions when acts of aggression led to violence. For instance, Portuguese traders attempted to conquer the Bissagos Islands in 1535. In 1571 Portugal, supported by the Kingdom of Kongo, took control of the south-western region of Angola in order to secure its threatened economic interest in the area. Although Kongo later joined a coalition in 1591 to force the Portuguese out, Portugal had secured a foothold on the continent that it continued to occupy until the 20th century. Despite these incidences of occasional violence between African and European forces, many African states ensured that any trade went on in their own terms, for instance, imposing custom duties on foreign ships. In 1525, the Kongolese king Afonso I seized a French vessel and its crew for illegally trading on his coast.

Ghana and the Ashanti…….

Africans played a direct role in the slave trade, selling their captives or prisoners of war to European buyers. The prisoners and captives who were sold were usually from neighbouring or enemy ethnic groups. These captive slaves were considered “other”, not part of the people of the ethnic group or “tribe”; African kings held no particular loyalty to them. Sometimes criminals would be sold so that they could no longer commit crimes in that area. Most other slaves were obtained from kidnappings, or through raids that occurred at gunpoint through joint ventures with the Europeans. But some African kings refused to sell any of their captives or criminals. King Jaja of Opobo, a former slave, refused to do any business with the slavers.

According to Pernille Ipsen (in the book Daughters of the Trade: Atlantic Slavers and Interracial Marriage on the Gold Coast), Africans, namely Ghana, also participated in the slave trade through intermarriage, or cassare, meaning “to set up house”. It is derived from the Portuguese word “casar”, meaning “to marry”. Cassare created political and economic bonds between European and African slave traders. Cassare was a pre-European practice used to integrate the “other” from a differing African tribe. Powerful West African groups used these marriages as an alliance used to strengthen their trade networks with European men by marrying off African women from families with ties to the slave trade. Early on in the Atlantic Slave trade, these marriages were common. The marriages were even performed using African customs, which Europeans did not object to, seeing how important the connections were.

The Akan (/əˈkæn/) is a meta-ethnicity living in the southern regions of present-day Ghana and Ivory Coast in West Africa. The Akan language (also known as Twi/Fante) is a group of dialects within the Central Tano branch of the Potou–Tano subfamily of the Niger–Congo family.

Subgroups of the Bia-speaking Akan groups include the Anyin, Baoulé, Chakosi (Anufo), Sefwi (Sehwi), Nzema, Ahanta, and Jwira-Pepesa. The Akan subgroups all have cultural attributes in common; most notably the tracing of matrilineal descent, inheritance of property, and succession to high political office.

Akan culture can also be found in the Americas, where a number of Akans were taken as captives. Roughly ten percent of all slave ships that embarked from the Gold Coast contained Akan people. The primary source of wealth in the Akan economy was gold. However, the capture and sale of Akan people peaked during the Fante and Ashanti conflicts (as both sold many of their captives as prisoners of war). Akan conflicts led to a high number of military captives, known as “Coromantee“, being sold into slavery. The Coromantee soldiers and other Akan captives were notorious for various slave revolts and plantation resistance tactics. These captives were feared throughout America. Their legacy is evident within groups such as the Maroons of the Caribbean and South America.

Subgroups of the Akan people include: Ashanti Fante Akuapem Bono Kwahu Akyem Agona Wassa Akwamu

Ashanti Empire…….

Kente Cloth

The Asante Empire (Asante Twi: Asanteman) was an Akan empire and kingdom from 1670 to 1957, in what is now modern-day Ghana. It expanded from Ashanti to include the Brong-Ahafo Region, Central Region, Eastern Region, Greater Accra Region and Western Region of present-day Ghana. Due to the empire’s military prowess, wealth, architecture, sophisticated hierarchy and culture, the Ashanti Kingdom has been extensively studied and has more historiographies by European, primarily British authors than any other indigenous culture of Sub-Saharan Africa.

*The name Asante means “because of war”. The word derives from the Twi words ɔsa meaning “war” and nti meaning “because of”. This name comes from the Asante’s origin as a kingdom created to fight the Denkyira kingdom.

Slavery was historically a tradition in the Ashanti Empire, with slaves typically taken as captives from enemies in warfare. The welfare of their slaves varied from being able to acquire wealth and intermarry with the master’s family to being sacrificed in funeral ceremonies. The Ashanti believed that slaves would follow their masters into the afterlife. Slaves could sometimes own other slaves, and could also request a new master if the slave believed he or she was being severely mistreated.

Interesting note…..

Kente Cloth
Kente, known as nwentoma in Akan, is an indigenous Ghanaian textile, made of interwoven cloth strips of silk and cotton. Kente is made in Akan lands, in Ghana, from the historic Ashanti Kingdom, including the towns of Bonwire, Adanwomase, Sakora Wonoo, and Ntonso in the Kwabre areas of the Ashanti Region.

In my research for this essay I could not help but notice that almost every website I saw regarding Kente cloths had a date of 5 June 2020. And they all conform to one another.
Knowing what I know about how the corporately funded mainstream (matrix) operates, this appears to be a massive “damage control” ploy. As the fallout post Nanci Peloci and her “get along gang’s” highly insulting “pandering ploy” a few weeks ago backfired on them massively.

It is also not lost on me that several “fact checking” websites (many who’s funding can be traced back to the eugenicist and population reduction proponent Bill Gates and his foundation) ran disinformation stories in an attempt to downplay the “slave trading” history of the Ashanti (warrior) people.
With almost two decades of this type of research under my belt, I can sniff this type of thing out from a mile away, but I digress…

These people are highly intelligent and highly educated. They are all students of the “Hidden Schools of Mystery Babylon”, well versed in the art of speaking only through ”symbols” in public. Those with eyes to see into a thing can see some pretty nasty mockery underlying other overlying pandering.

Despite appearances, these people are NOT stupid
Props to Traxman for the flick (photo)


The Kingdom of Dahomey (/dəˈhoʊmi/) was an African kingdom (located within the area of the present-day country of Benin) that existed from about 1600 until 1904, when the last king, Béhanzin, was defeated by the French, and the country was annexed into the French colonial empire. Dahomey developed on the Abomey Plateau amongst the Fon people in the early 17th century and became a regional power in the 18th century by conquering key cities on the Atlantic coast.

For much of the 18th and 19th centuries, the Kingdom of Dahomey was a key regional state, eventually ending tributary status to the Oyo Empire. The Kingdom of Dahomey was an important regional power that had an organized domestic economy built on conquest and slave labor, significant international trade with Europeans, a centralized administration, taxation systems, and an organized military. Notable in the kingdom were significant artwork, an all-female military unit called the Dahomey Amazons by European observers, and the elaborate religious practices of Vodun with the large festival of the Annual Customs of Dahomey which involved large scale human sacrifice. They traded prisoners, which they captured during wars and raids, and exchanged them with Europeans for goods such as knives, bayonets, firearms, fabrics, and spirits.

Human sacrifice of captured and enslaved people was a regular practice in Dahomey

My people are a military people, male and female; my revenue is the proceeds of the sale of prisoners of war….. I cannot send the women to cultivate the soil, it would kill them…All my nation, all are soldiers. And the slave trade feeds them.”Ghezo (King of Dahomey) excerpt from the book “African Military History”

Dahomey’s female “Amazon Warriors” are a very interesting aspect of their culture, but for the sake of time and brevity I must leave you with a link to further research this highly interesting topic.

The mighty Dahomeyans had a hand in the horrible capture, dehumanization, and sale of their fellow African continent brethren. The African slave trade shines a light on just how complex the continent’s individual as well as collective identities really are.

We U.S. Born “black people” are seen and see ourselves as a mostly homogeneous group. With the possible exception of first and second generation of African and Caribbean immigrants. However, in Africa, even differing tribes within a single nation can and do view those outside of their immediate group as “the other”.
As an “American black dude” I find this phenomena immensely fascinating. And yet another part of our historical and or cultural identity that is swept under the proverbial rug.

The crabs in a barrel effect……..

It is quite interesting to note that we U.S. “black folk” have an innate distrust for one another that functions in much the same way as our African “tribal” ancestors. We have been taught either anecdotally, as well as from experience that some of us are simply not to be trusted. (Just like every other race, creed color, and or phenotype of human on the entire face of the earth).

learned helplessness does UGLY things to a people
But not identifying as a victim EVER, fixes it xx

One interesting experience I will share with you here now.
A few months back I was approached by a/some fellow African American (sic) “colleagues” about joining an “empowerment and solidarity” support and networking group on Facebook.
I, having already “broken out” internationally really stood nothing to gain except for the joy of seeing some of my people “come up”.
Seeking to assist my peers with a less visible profile, I invited several of my high profile “Black American” (North American out of respect for my South and Central American Beloved) peers.

Most, having “been there and done that” never accepted, but one in particular came with a bit of “painful truth”. He joined the group conversation to “feel it out”, but expressed his skepticism with regard to the viability of the group. Saying “black people kill each other”. To which I had to publicly concur.
Instantly, this artist was called a “goofy” insulted, bullied, and shame bashed for simply stating an obvious, but painful truth. Said artist is from Jersey City. Growing up in Hoboken. A bridge ride away from Manhattan. This artist is the inimitable wunderkind, Mr. Joey Anderson. (whom I contacted personally to ask permission to quote him for this essay).

Obviously disappointed at what had just occurred, I once again reiterated my support for the truth bomb Joey had just dropped. I also wrote to the group that lack of organization and in-fighting was a major reason our people are “unwelcome guests” in the “House we built” and that for this group to work, we would have to be very mindful of this historical “hobble”.

A day later, I was ejected from the group. Which disbanded and then reformed without me.

Now to be fair, the founder of the group sent me a new add request after un-friending me. Which I sat on for a few weeks thinking it over. As “once bitten twice shy”.
I eventually acquiesced in the spirit of peace, love, and tolerance I “preach” in my writings on Facebook. As to be 100% “congruent” in my words and deeds.
This artist humbly apologized and I accepted gracefully in the true spirit of “black unity”.
“Water under the bridge” I told him.
And since this time, this artist has been very supportive online with regard to my recent maneuvers and posts.
Walk the talk.

Side note….
(it must be mentioned that there are many U.S. People of color who believe that they/we are decedents of one or more of the Biblical “lost 12 tribes” of the original Hebrews. That particular rabbit hole goes quite deep, and is a bit off topic. Therefore I will refrain from exploring it here at this time)

So with this indisputable, historically accurate evidence; we can see that the Transatlantic Slave Trade is in many ways, a European extension of an already centuries old African Slave Trade. The horrendously inhumane rabbit hole of humans being sold into slavery goes so deep, that I at some point must leave it be to be addressed in some of it’s other iterations at a later time.

I feel confident at this point that the backdrop is set. And a mental picture has been taken, processed, and developed in the minds of the reader(s).
And since my exposure of this hidden aspect of “Black American” history is but a fraction of the entire equation, we shall now move on to iconoclastically examine another under scrutinized aspect of modern-day “U.S. Blackness”

Do black lives really matter?????

Some of what I am seeing being done under the umbrella of “Black Lives Mattering” is quite an embarrassment. And I honestly cannot be associated with such foolishness.

Let’s talk about this…..
I pose the question to you all, “what is the biggest killer of black people in the United States?” And before I state the indisputable answer, I pose one more question;
If Black lives really matter to the group that flies this particular banner, and or chants this neuro-linguistic slogan, then surely they are protesting the single most destructive and effective destroyer of black lives in the nation of the USA, aren’t they?

Neurolinguistic programming(NLP) is a psychological approach that involves analyzing strategies used by successful individuals and applying them to reach a personal goal. It relates thoughts, language, and patterns of behavior learned through experience to specific outcomes.

Neuro-Linguistic Programing (NLP), in short, is the method of performing mild hypnosis through conversation for the purpose of persuasion. By using certain verbal and non-verbal language patterns, an NLP master can trigger specific responses in their subject’s subconscious mind. –
Learning To Pull The Strings Of A Stranger’s Subconscious: NLP

“NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming is one of the world’s most prevalent methods of mind control, used by everyone from sales callers to politicians to media pundits, and it’s nasty to the core. Here’s ten ways to make sure nobody uses it on you… ever.” –
10 Ways to Protect Yourself From NLP Mind Control

Back to the first question….
The answer is abortion. This is the largest killer of “Black Lives” by an incredibly wide margin. In fact, for every 1000 black children born, 479 are killed before they ever take a breath. This is astounding mathematics. Practically a 50% ratio. This beloved, is no less than genocide. Yet, BLM does no protesting of abortion clinics.
No! Quite the opposite, they (on their own website) promote it.

Let us now examine a bit of “double speak” from their OWN website…..
“We make our spaces family-friendly and enable parents to fully participate with their children.”
These words are found in the paragraph DIRECTLY under the above statement
We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure….”

So now, which is it? There is a blatantly obvious contradiction. One that anyone employing rational logic and seeking true overstanding can plainly see immediately.
So why, I now ask the reader, does no one else seem to notice this? At least not among the legions of “followers” now marching and disrupting peace and order claiming “Black Lives Matter”.
Empirical science has proven that children raised in a two parent household have a much better chance at having a happy and successful life.

Children raised in intact married families are more likely to attend college, are physically and emotionally healthier, are less likely to be physically or sexually abused, less likely to use drugs or alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors, have a decreased risk of divorcing when they get married, are less likely to become pregnant/impregnate someone as a teenager, and are less likely to be raised in poverty. (“Why Marriage Matters: 26 Conclusions from the Social Sciences,” Bradford Wilcox, Institute for American Values,

Why don’t THESE Black Lives Matter?

Now, back to the “black genocide” that is completely ignored in the US…..

“Abortion impacts African Americans at a higher rate than any other population group. In 2011, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released an Abortion Surveillance Report. According to that report, black women make up 14 percent of the childbearing population. Yet, 36 percent of all abortions were obtained by black women. At a ratio of 474 abortions per 1,000 live births, black women have the highest ratio of any group in the country.” –
Abortion: The overlooked tragedy for black Americans – Walt Blackman

So once again, why no mention of this from BLM? It stands to reason that such a highly organized and well funded organization would know this if I, a mere “gym rat and DJ/Beatmaker” would, don’t you think?

Let us dive further into the things BLM’s website wishes us to know (in their own words)……
“In 2013, three radical Black organizers — Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi — created a Black-centered political will and movement building project called #BlackLivesMatter.”
“Black Lives Matter is an ideological and political intervention……”

Having been at this “rabbit hole research game” for almost 2 decades, I have come across my fair share of “shills” “controlled opposition” front movements, “straw man” decoys, and “useful idiots”

In political jargon, a useful idiot is a derogatory term for a person perceived as propagandizing for a cause without fully comprehending the cause’s goals, and who is cynically used by the cause’s leaders.

With all the blatant contradictory incongruence, double speak, radical subversive ideologies, stated purpose of “disrupting” the nuclear family, and dubious funding, this group does not at all function as they should based upon what and who they say they are. Therefore, this group should be viewed with a dose of healthy skepticism at the very least.

Congruence and Controlled Opposition……..


If it happened to the Black Panthers, it can happen in BLM
Don’t you think?



noun: congruence; plural noun: congruences

  1. agreement or harmony; compatibility.

“the results show quite good congruence with recent studies”

I vote for neither side. They’re ALL puppets.

A controlled opposition
is a protest movement that is actually being led by government agents. Nearly all governments in history have employed this technique to trick and subdue their adversarie. Notably Vladimir Lenin who said ””The best way to control the opposition is to lead it ourselves.”

So if we take into account BLM’s “footprint” and the fact that oftentimes, well meaning grass roots organizations are often infiltrated by either or:
1. Government agents and agencies such as Co-Intel Pro. In the case of the “Black Panther Party”.
2. Radical (often Bolshevik Marxist) subversives such as the Frankfurt School infiltrating universities both in the U.S. And around the world.

At this point, we must continue to scrutinize BLM and watch them carefully as this organization is the prefect “petri-dish” for such infiltration to fester and take over. Using the cover of a grass-roots movement to either neutralize, and or subvert is for their own nefarious causes.
Ask some who makes a living of studying, combating, and or chronicling these types of groups and subversive movements, and they will tell you that BLM displays all the hallmarks of either controlled opposition, or a radical subversive movement. If not both.

I myself choose to continue to watch and reserve judgement for now. Healthy skepticism shall be my modus operandi moving forward with regard to how I view this odd, disruptive possible wolf in sheep’s clothing. Innocent until proven guilty shall be the way until further evidence proves definitively either way. In the meantime, I will avoid taking sides and remain an independent, non-partisan, apolitical free thinker.

Question everything!

In their OWN words!!!!
The enemy IS among us!

The “Digital Punch In The Face”


When Mike Tyson was asked by a reporter whether he was worried about Evander Holyfield and his fight plan he answered; “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth (face).”
What Tyson said is similar to the old saying “no plan survives first contact with the enemy”.

I explored this idea in a recent Facebook mini-essay you can find here…..

The way that the term “digital punch in the face” I recently created relates to the BLM movement is the way this “organization” seems to always lurk around and feed the flames of emotional trauma the corporate media promoted and highly polarizing narrative of black people being under constant attack by police. Yet, the numbers do not support this.
Something does not add up.
And “if something does not add up, then it must be subtracted.”

Something about the name “Black Lives Matter” instantly rubbed me the wrong way back when I first heard it a few years ago. Like many, I thought to myself “wait, when did anyone EVER say that they did not matter?” It struck me as pandering, and even mocking. SUPER CRINGE, but I digress….

Perhaps it is my ability to recognize neuro-linguistinc programming being used on me.
I don’t know. But for whatever reason, I felt like I should keep and eye on this group’s “foot print”.

So now in light of current events, especially those in the state of my birth, Washington State. In a city adjacent to the one I was born in Tacoma. On Fort Lewis Army base.
The city in question is Seattle. Where we now have a whole ceccession on our hands. WTF is that nonsense?
(the philosopher in me asks).
These people do not represent me in any way. What are they really doing there? What do they want? And why are they not being stopped?

Unfortunately, I am quite sure I know the answer to all three of those questions.
1. Please go back to the previous blog post and check the link Yuri Bezmenov’s lecture?
2. Please see the above?
3. They are not being stopped so that the presidential candidate colloquially known as “Orange Man Bad” LOL; can give his opposing party (different wings, same bird) the proverbial rope to hang themselves.

Logic dictates that he will point out to the fact that a major portion of BLM’s donations are funneled directly to the opposing party. And link them in his stump speeches. As well as pointing out that Seattle itself has an ineffective Democratic mayor. And that Washington State has a Democratic Governor who has lost control of the affairs of the “Evergreen State”.
It’s as if the opposing party of the man they call “Dump” are losing on purpose. Especially when you factor in “Creepy Uncle Joe”. Nuts! You cannot write better fiction. Crazy times.

So with people already wound up as much as they are, and looking back at the reaction to the last election; I foresee hella mental meltdowns. And perhaps if it has not already happened by then, full on blood in the streets.
Thus, the reason for these posts here and on the “book”.

Simmer down beloved. This is how “social engineering” works. So I need my people (regardless of skin color) to now cut the invisible puppet strings. Some very evil people have stated many times in their writings that they wish to utilize the Hegelian Dialectic
{Thesis + Antithesis = Synthesis aka Ordo Ab Chao (Order out of Chaos)} to bring about their oft written about New World Order.

Don’t be this broad. …. If you’re not her already, beloved x

To do this, they state in their own words that extreme chaos is needed to manifest this into reality.
The following was spoken by David Rockefeller at the Bilderberger Meeting, Baden Germany, June 1991. Rockefeller has devoted his life to one world government, i.e. the New World Order (NWO). He founded the Trilateral Commission and is integral to the Council on Foreign Relations.

We are grateful to the Washington Post, The New York Times, Time Magazine and other great publications whose directors have attended our meetings and respected their promises of discretion for almost 40 years. … It would have been impossible for us to develop our plan for the world if we had been subjected to the lights of publicity during those years. But, the world is now more sophisticated and prepared to march towards a world government. The supranational sovereignty of an intellectual elite and world bankers is surely preferable to the national auto-determination practiced in past centuries.”

Later, he notes: “Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterizing my family and me as ‘internationalists’ and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure, one world if you will. If that is the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.”
“We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis and the nations will accept the New World Order.”- David Rockefeller 23 September 1994
(His own words. Not mine)

The New World Order is a whole thing. Despite the Wikipedia disinformation
See for yourself

The primary obstacle blocking the “sovereignty of an intellectual elite and world bankers” is a strong, democratic, sovereign America. Both cannot exist simultaneously. Therefore, our mortal enemy has been decimating America for decades, the battlefield littered with the middle class, dazed soldiers wandering in despair, jobs lost, pockets empty, homes foreclosed, dreams crushed and forced to bow to their oppressors if they travel by air. America is on the verge of losing our battle for freedom and has not yet even identified who the real enemy is.

The age-old dream of world domination is alive and well. Our real enemy are the globalists, scientific-technological elites who, as Eisenhower warned, are attempting to establish the NWO. Their primary weapons are perpetual war and central banks, i.e. the Fed which is a cartel of international bankers, including Rockefeller, who control our economy and, astoundingly, have not been audited during the 98 years they have systematically destroyed the dollar while becoming inconceivably powerful. Jefferson, Lincoln, Andrew Jackson – the list is long and distinguished – all scream as to the lethal danger of a central bank. – The Aspen Times “Beware New World Order 15 August 2011

Ordo Ab Chao…….

As above. So Below.

A Latin expression, meaning Order out of Chaos. A motto of the Thirty-third Degree, and having the same allusion as lug e tenebris, which see in this work. The invention of this motto is to be attributed to the Supreme Council of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite

– Source: Mackey’s Encyclopedia of Freemasonry

Many bands and other sources outside of freemasonry have used the term in various works. The term was recently manifested in book title with the release of Order Out Of Chaos The Landmarks of Freemasonry authored by Sean R Bailey.

Although many books have been written on the theory of the masonic landmarks, few are available that provide a complete overview of the centuries of attempts at making any one set of landmarks universally apart of the Masonic Code. This book provides the unique perspective of the many attempts by Authors and Unique men in Masonry. Beginning with the basic concepts of what constitutes a
Landmark, each chapter then traces the steps taken in applying what has been written into what we as modern masons use today in our daily life’s.

The book assumes the reader has a basic knowledge of the” basic” concepts of Freemasonry. It is especially well suited for identification of the dynamics of masons around the world. As no one jurisdiction is the same. So is the case for the landmarks they have instated as code

We now live in the rabbit hole…..

Welcome to The Brave New World!

With these highly charged, and often controversial topics, it is easy to get “lost in the sauce” of conjecture, feels over reals, tin-foil hat-ery, and eyes wide shut fear.
Therefore, I feel that since we’ve now crossed the bough of actually naming the New World Order in this essay; it is a great time to “hit the brakes” and cool off with a bit of a mental/emotional time out.

Everyone can sense now that the “identity politics” being practiced these days is a broken system. One that seems to be doing much more harm than good. We also have more and more people beginning to question the true intentions of the corporately controlled mainstream media (matrix); that is obviously “socially engineering” the people who depend on it for (dis)information, and and UNDER-standing (versus overstanding) of the world we now live in.
And what the whole fuq is up with CHAZ?

(laughs out loud!)

Live Free or die!
Freedom is not being bound by the opinions of others.

One last thing……

You know you’re not a racist. So DON’T virtue signal. It hurts more than it helps xx

White guilt is a form a passive racism. STOP IT!

Next essay we MUST explore the origins of the US democratic party.

With all the most humble love and gracious respect I can muster. Because my Beloved deserve no less.

Amir Alexander – Iconoclast

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The Musings of a Modern Philosopher…..


1. the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline.
2. a theory or attitude that acts as a guiding principle for behaviour.

Classic philosophical questions include: “is it possible to know anything and to prove it?” and ‘what is most real?’ Philosophers also pose more practical and concrete questions such as: ‘is there a best way to live?’, ‘is it better to be just or unjust (if one can get away with it)?”, “do humans have free will?”
Looking back, it appears that I was a born philosopher. One of my first memories was looking at both my parents and wondering why I ONLY saw out of my own eyes and did NOT see out of theirs.
I was quite struck by an overwhelming sense of self. And or, self awareness. This would be no older than age two. In fact, I do not think I had really learned to speak yet. But there I was. Pondering the idea of…..

I am me…….

I can remember this far back.

“I am me”. This was my first great philosophical pondering. Dad is Dad, Mom is Mom, and I am me. I also knew at that age already that I/me, had had something to do. I felt a strong sense of “personal greatness”. That I was here to affect the “world of man” (woman, and or other) in a way that would be “world reaching” on an international scale/level.
Everyday for many months this went on, and throughout my entire youth it was an idea I revisited from time to time for the rest of my childhood years.

too smart for my own good…..

I was told many times growing up that I “was too smart for my own good”. It appears that this was indeed true. As my Pisces Moon sign allows me to at times embody both thesis and anti-thesis at the same time. Always “very mature for my age”, but up until a very painful and demoralizing “loss of innocence” that occurred about five to six years ago; I was also “painfully naive”
When I was coming of age in the United States of America, the median IQ Intelligence quotient was 100…….
(IQ) is a total score derived from a set of standardized tests or subtests designed to assess human intelligence. The abbreviation “IQ” was coined by the psychologist William Stern for the German term “Intelligenzquotient”, his term for a scoring method for intelligence tests at University of Breslau he advocated in a 1912 book. Historically, IQ was a score obtained by dividing a person’s mental age score, obtained by administering an intelligence test, by the person’s chronological age, both expressed in terms of years and months. The resulting fraction (quotient) is multiplied by 100 to obtain the IQ score. For modern IQ tests, the median raw score of the norming sample is defined as IQ 100 and scores each standard deviation (SD) up or down are defined as 15 IQ points greater or less. By this definition, approximately two-thirds of the population scores are between IQ 85 and IQ 115. About 2.5 percent of the population scores above 130, and 2.5 percent below 70)

*Psychologists revise the test every few years in order to maintain 100 as the average. Most people (about 68 percent) have an IQ between 85 and 115. Only a small fraction of people have a very low IQ (below 70) or a very high IQ (above 130). The average IQ in the United States is 98.
So the median IQ in the country I grew up in (one that seems to be, or seemed to be one that the entire world marveled at, if not in some way admired as a “great nation” {though many now will tell you that it was never great}. Despite many people around the world still excited at the prospect of taking holiday, or even migrating there until only very recently) is decreasing but I digress…

Intellectual Isolation

I tested every other year throughout my entire school career in the 99th percentile on our C.T.B.S. (Comprehensive test of basic skills) Tests. This is an IQ/placement test given to ensure that children of equal IQ are placed in the same homeroom, math, science, English/grammar/composition classes. The 99th percentile means that I was in the top 1% IQ range of all the children of my age group in the entire United States. No boasting, only painting a mental picture to help the reader overstand some of the things I will expound upon later in this essay.

That’s my soul up there – The Police

There is a thing called “intellectual isolation” it goes as follows…..100 is median and or average. 70 and below is considered a “retarded” and or stunted/slowed development IQ. Anything over 130 is considered very high. (For the sake of humility I will not state my exact number, but suffice it to say, it is firmly over 130). The basis of “Intellectual Isolation” theory is that people with very high IQ are just as “far out of the normal” as a “retarded” person. And without the proper skills to function in the world of most people, they will often be perceived, and thus treated like a person with a “cognitive deficiency”. (talk about the irony). This hurt me greatly. To be considered and treated like I was “dumb” by people who were vastly less gifted at times. But that was then and this is now. It made me stronger. And for this is am most humbly grateful.

Eureka Moment!!!!!

THIS was my life. Even up until a few years ago. When I was in “free-fall” career wise, relationship wise, friendship wise, and emotionally. I remember clearly thinking and even saying aloud “I need to learn to make my IQ work for me and not against me”
Ever the researcher, I was trying to self diagnose. As I am a Man, and thus a “problem solver” Heterosexual Women can likely relate to telling their man their feelings about a situation that brought them down, and then the man trying to “do something” when all she wanted was for him to listen. Men can relate as well I am sure. This is because he was trying to “solve the problem. So to continue…

I even thought at one time I might be high functioning Asperger’s Syndrome for while. That is until I FINALLY discovered I.I. (Intellectual Isolation). Talk about “killing me softly” The peer reviewed white papers and various literature were describing my entire life. OK, I know my enemy. I can now attempt to defeat it. “In battle, “You can’t hit what you can’t see”. Now that I had a proper overstanding of why I was so different, I could now address my particular needs.

My school peers would all go to “gifted studies” from time to time, and despite being in the exact same classes with them, I did not get to leave and go to “gifted” with them. The reason being was that when I would bring home my test scores, and the gifted studies applications to my mother, who was deep in her cocaine addiction at the time. And she would not even read them. Thus I never received the proper “coping skills” that gifted studies gives these children who are “so far out of the norm”. To top it off, I also suffered from dyslexia. Talk about a tough break.
So for the last five years, I have worked very hard to overcome myself, and I am no longer “too smart for my own good”. “So why does this matter?”, you may ask. To which I say, please read on? It will all become clear soon.
Talent hits a target most cannot hit. Genius hits a target most cannot see. Remember this. We will revisit it in a bit.

The Empty Cup…..

one who knows everything cannot learn anything

The Empty Cup….”Empty your cup” is an old Chinese Chan (Zen) saying that occasionally pops up in western popular entertainment. “Empty your cup” often is attributed to a famous conversation between the scholar Tokusan (also called Te-shan Hsuan-chien, 782-865) and Zen Master Ryutan (Lung-t’an Ch’ung-hsin or Longtan Chongxin, 760-840).The “Empty Your Cup” ConversationScholar Tokusan–who was full of knowledge and opinions about the dharma–came to Ryutan and asked about Zen. At one point Ryutan re-filled his guest’s teacup but did not stop pouring when the cup was full. Tea spilled out and ran over the table. “Stop! The cup is full!” said Tokusan.”Exactly,” said Master Ryutan. “You are like this cup; you are full of ideas. You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is full; I can’t put anything in. Before I can teach you, you’ll have to empty your cup.”This is harder than you might realize. By the time we reach adulthood we are so full of information that we don’t even notice it’s there. We might consider ourselves to be open-minded, but in fact, everything we learn is filtered through many assumptions and then classified to fit into the knowledge we already possess.

One who knows……


Confucius said: … Recognizing that you know what you know, and recognizing that you do not know what you do not know—this is knowledge. Yu said:…. shall I teach you what knowledge is? When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it;—this is knowledge.

Identity Politics and self Righteous indignation…..
In the past decade, as it appears on the surface that we are more open-minded, tolerant, sophisticated, and educated. Yet, we “function” as the “inverse” of these things. ‘Dumbed Down”. Why is this? The philosopher asks. What is the root causation?
One likely culprit is “Identity Politics” which appears to be the “weaponized version” of the “agree to disagree and find the middle ground of politics” we used to engage in.
Successfully, I might add. The philosopher asks probing questions. Stoically. As the “Meditations of Marcus Aurelius” instructed us to do. Where ever identity politics goes. Calm, rational discourse cannot. It destroy’s people’s ability to engage in it successfully. But why???

Emotions < Logic

Logic = Meltdown

To engage in rational discourse, the parties involved must be rational. But the emotions led “own group preference” steeped identity politics ideology causes “Cognitive Dissonance”. Which CANNOT hold up to scrutiny or logic. It crumbles under the pressure of reason, logic, and facts that support a dissenting opinion.
The world before “Triggering was a thing”….
For any truly open minded individual, different points of view should be welcome. This is an opportunity to learn new things. But if we already know everything, we can never learn anything. This refers back to the empty cup I spoke on before. Without open, rational, dissension and or discourse, we humans begin to seek what is known as “confirmation bias”

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information that confirms or support one’s prior personal beliefs or values. It is an important type of cognitive bias that has a significant effect on the proper functioning of society by distorting evidence-based decision-making. People display this bias when they gather or remember information selectively, or when they interpret it in a biased way. For example, a person may cherry-pick empirical data that supports one’s belief, ignoring the remainder of the data that is not supportive. People also tend to interpret ambiguous evidence as supporting their existing position. The effect is strongest for desired outcomes, for emotionally charged issues, and for deeply entrenched beliefs. Confirmation bias is a broad construct covering a number of explanations. Biased search, interpretation and memory have been invoked to explain attitude polarization (when a disagreement becomes more extreme even though the different parties are exposed to the same evidence), belief perseverance (when beliefs persist after the evidence for them is shown to be false), the irrational primacy effect (a greater reliance on information encountered early in a series) and illusory correlation (when people falsely perceive an association between two events or situations).

Cancel Culture……

Self righteous keyboard assassin

THIS is what happens when we enter the dark dark climate of “cancel culture”. No definition needed I’m sure. As the book (Facebook) is rife with it. Express a differing point of view…. Get canceled. Engage in “normal” old-fashion politics… Get canceled. Be a dick….. for SURE get canceled. Make an honest mistake, or miss-speak amongst the wrong crowd? CANCELED!
This is a very base, destructive, callous, and EVIL ideology. One that seeks to ruin a person’s WHOLE life, strip them of the ability to provide for themselves, their significant other, and or their very children. Why not take the time to inform and educate a person who makes a gaffe and truly does not know what they are now being punished for miss-expressing. Would not we want this done for us?
The “philosopher asks…. Do these people really ever take the time to think about how evil and destructive an ideological phenomena that would seek to thrust women and children into “abject poverty” not to mention any Men who might find themselves victims of the practice. As Men, and true masculinity, versus “media machismo” is CLEARLY under attack. (but we will leave that particular “social land mine” for now). I will just say that sexuality, and or gender characteristics is NOT a “zero sum game”

Zero Sum Game

In game theory and economic theory, a zero-sum game is a mathematical representation of a situation in which each participant’s gain or loss of utility is exactly balanced by the losses or gains of the utility of the other participants. If the total gains of the participants are added up and the total losses are subtracted, they will sum to zero. Thus, cutting a cake, where taking a larger piece reduces the amount of cake available for others as much as it increases the amount available for that taker, is a zero-sum game if all participants value each unit of cake equally (see marginal utility).

Meaning if one party is successful and or wins, all others must fail, and or lose.

In contrast, non-zero-sum describes a situation in which the interacting parties’ aggregate gains and losses can be less than or more than zero. A zero-sum game is also called a strictly competitive game while non-zero-sum games can be either competitive or non-competitive. Zero-sum games are most often solved with the minimax theorem which is closely related to linear programming duality, or with Nash Equilibrium.
Humans have a cognitive bias towards seeing situations as zero-sum, known as zero-sum bias. But once again, I digress…
The point is, we are existing in an very toxic environment that no longer allows differing points of view. The philosopher asks… Why is this? And what is the difference between the current, and former generations?
It appears that “Safe Spaces” and “Trigger Word” culture has left people emotionally unable to cope with the real world devoid of “safe spaces” and “trigger warnings”. So do these things help? Or do they do more harm than good? The philosopher asks these questions.

“The Hubris of Icarus”

Proverbs 16:18 King James Version (KJV)
18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Never before in modern history have we had the real time embodiment/fulfillment of so many literary classics playing out at the same time right before out very eyes. From the “oppressed cum oppressor” scenario found in Eric Blair, aka George Orwell’s “Animal Farm”, to the…..

“The Flight of Icarus”
In Greek mythology, Icarus (/ˈɪkərəs/; Ancient Greek: Ἴκαρος [ǐːkaros]) is the son of the master craftsman Daedalus, the creator of the Labyrinth. Icarus and his father attempt to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax. Icarus’ father warns him first of complacency and then of hubris, asking that he fly neither too low nor too high, so the sea’s dampness would not clog his wings nor the sun’s heat melt them. Icarus ignored his father’s instructions not to fly too close to the sun; when the wax in his wings melted he tumbled out of the sky and fell into the sea where he drowned, sparking the idiom “don’t fly too close to the sun”. This tragic theme of failure at the hands of hubris contains similarities to that of Phaethon. Today’s ubiquitous “Self Righteous Indignation” mirrors Icarus’s flight exactly. Drunk on fakebook likes and hearts, keyboard assassins soar high fueled my their own self righteous blindness to anything but their unchecked and undisciplined emotional diarrhea. Quite troubling and sad to watch as, what goes up must definitely come back down, And what goes around will most surely come around. Classic “Monkey Trap” folly.

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others” – George Orwell

The Monkey Trap….

Seeking confirmation bias is a classic monkey trap

“The Monkey Trap”The trap “consists of a hollowed-out coconut, chained to a stake. The coconut has some rice inside which can be grabbed through a small hole”. The monkey’s hand fits through the hole, but his clenched fist can’t fit back out. “The monkey is suddenly trapped.” But not by anything physical. He’s trapped by an idea, unable to see that a principle that served him well – “when you see rice, hold on tight!” – has become lethal. One striking example is what psychologists call the Einstellung effect, describing the way preconceptions can blind us, in almost a literal way, to better ways of doing things. In clever experiments by Merim Bilalic and his colleagues, chess masters were presented with a board arranged to offer them two paths to victory: a well-known five-move option, and a more obscure one, requiring three moves. Even these superb players often couldn’t see the best way to win, because the one they knew better colonized their minds. Later, those who’d missed the three-move solution were shown a similar board on which it was the only way to win. Now none had any problem seeing it.
Self righteous indignation can blind the person full of it, and thus be the agent of their own undoing. Avoid this at ALL cost if you have wisdom.

Normalcy Bias…..

In this Brave New World, expect the unexpected. It’s already happened twice since March

“It WILL never happen because HAS never happened”

Our normalcy bias was shattered last month when what appears to be a WHOLE MURDER was filmed and broadcast around the world for all who were unfortunate enough to CHOOSE to watch it.
Normalcy biases will continue to be shattered in this “Brave New World” we now live in. I, the philosopher holds NO normalcy bias. As I also study history and Cultural Anthropology. Fully aware that the ONLY constant in life is change, and or “novelty”
Most novelty with regard to true progression has slowed to a crawl. The form of novelty we encounter is now “computer” and “screen based” Examples; everything to do with A.I. (computer) Any and EVERY type of pornography (including the girl next door tricking her precious body part time for strangers to make a few extra bucks on a webcam or this new “friendly friends” thingy I keep hearing about. (screen)These are but two very common examples. There truly are too many to name here.

Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars….

An actual leaked document you should read

Why is it that no prior generation held the same hate for those who hold differing points of view? Could it be that they have been weaponized by “Corporate Media”?
The truly curious among you seeking true overstanding would do well to research the work of Yuri Bezmenov. Therein you will learn the true nature of the subversive tactics being employed by the corporate media. I have enclosed a link to a free pdf. copy of the leaked military document “ Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars” here, and also on my profile page. Necessary reading for anyone who wishes to overstand the true nature of the threat we all face with regard to the ever increasing chaos and despair that is ubiquitously conspicuous.

*Yuri Bezmenov has some information that may be difficult for the easily offended to hear, but anyone with a strong, open mind should at least listen. The views contained herein are not necessarily those of the author. (Trigger warning)

In closing….

There is so much more ground to cover. This essay, though long by some people’s standards, has barely scratched the surface.
These are a few not so random thoughts and “ideas” I ponder quite often as I seek true overstanding of the world we now see. As a modern philosopher, and “Elder Spokesman” of our beloved culture, it is my duty to utilize the seemingly extraordinary gifts I have been given to help those who were not “gifted” in this way.
Why would I do this? Because my faith teaches scholarship, discernment, wisdom and compassion. I am also motivated by this question as I survey the land of the “online” and real physical/tangible worlds……
“Where are the Philosophers????”
Amir Alexander – Father, Musician, Scholar, Social Anthropologist, Child of God, Philosopher, Man

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Amir Alexander ‎– Wisdom: My King Is Light ‎– MKIL002

where do I even start?????

The story begins way back. Over a year ago back in April 2019. My “praktik” (practice)/aka internship at a shady, sub-par hotel restaurant seems to be going nowhere.
I was promised a job after 30 days. It was now almost 90 days and still no formal contract.

Having decided to completely quit the scene and gigging, etc, I had been struggling to “get a real job” and move on with life for quite some time. Having no car living out in the countryside, and being “over qualified” seemed to be insurmountable obstacles.

Due to the five year long “black-balling” I was in the throes of, gigs/work in my chosen profession were non-existent.
A half year prior, I had come to the realization that the God I serve did not want me to be “DJ Amir Alexander”.
This had to be the case. Because I was completely stalled in the water, broke, and about to be homeless.
I had made the definitive album of my career that was seemingly ignored by the scene at large. And I even had a track off that album (Blessed Are The Meek) that had been a “summer chart topper” for two consecutive years.
(*In fact, it is poised to have a fourth straight year doing so if things go well with the remix EP.)
Yet and still, my gigs had slowed to a crawl, and then disappeared entirely.

In the summer leading up to this decision I had already shifted focus. My life centered around all things BMX, and teaching my then 3 year old son how to ride a bicycle. BMX was something I always admired. And even before I became a fairly decent mediocre skateboarder, I was trying to learn tricks on a bike.

At age 12 I got a BMX for Christmas. This would have been 1984. The height of the crack epidemic in my small North Florida town. My family had not quite yet totally imploded. And looking back, I can now see that this was our last Christmas as a family unit.

My brother Ricardo got one of these.

Christmas in the hood was always a fun time. All the kids who got bikes would meet up on the corner of the block by my house. We lived by the playground, so the this is the logical place for kids to meet up and gather.
This particular year my 3 siblings and I had a great Christmas. My parents had recently split up, but my Dad still had his job as an X-Ray Tech, Broken Bone Setter, and Orthopedic Surgeon’s Assistant. Therefore he had the cash to splurge on his progeny that year. And splurge he did.

My younger sister Tomeka and I got bikes. Me a BMX. And she this cute purple number with a cute white basket on the handlebars that had daisies on it. My Little brother Ricardo who was 3 days short of his fourth birthday got one of those little battery powered 4/4 cars that he could actually drive. We also got a couple outfits, and some other small toys like balls, dolls, tea sets, and toy cars. Jackpot bounty! We were stoked!!!!

“today I feel as good as everybody else…..”

Me. Mid-sentence. Christmas 1982-83. One toy car. Slim pickings. Poverty life.

Growing up a poor child in the ghetto, you never really know how poor you are until you encounter an outside barometer. Meaning, a person, place, or situation outside of your realm of normalcy makes you aware of your level of poverty.

I had recently encountered this “barometer” in the form of one of the more popular girls at school telling me that my mother was on welfare (government assistance). To which I replied in defense, “no she’s not.” The girl then said, “then why are your clothes always so old and dirty?”
OUCH! that one hurt, but I had to save face so I said what any child would in that situation…… “I don’t know.” Then I walked away in shame. Dejected and sad.

Stuff like this was always happening. Ever since I had moved to Florida from Columbus Georgia where my Dad had been deployed at Fort Benning Army base as an X-Ray tech/Medic. He had surprised the entire family when at 17 years old when he enlisted in the Army instead of going to University to become a Dr. or Engineer, as everyone had expected him to do.
But My Dad is a born rebel. LOL! Some might say a trouble maker, who most certainly made up his own rules and forged his own path in life. Often to the chagrin of his loved ones.

since moving to the “dirty south” and experiencing EXTREME culture shock, where people spoke strangely, there was a thing called rednecks who hated black people, a post Jim Crow environment where the races didn’t mix, and a general level of intellectual retardation, and or arrested development, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

“You’re ugly. You have Chinese eyes. You talk proper like white people. Why you hang wit that white boy at school? These were all things I heard on a regular basis. Needless to say, it wasn’t the best for my self esteem at the time.
To top it off, my parents had spit up and it had caused me to venture off into the life of a petty street criminal.
But on this day, Christmas 1984, none of this mattered.

Children who’s families celebrate Christmas are always up well before the crack of dawn on that day. And we were no different. But this year we awoke to a tree that had freaking bikes under it. The christmas prior had been quite modest. One where we got a couple donated “toys for tots”, but not much else. However this year was a complete 180 degree shift. As my Dad now had a “good job”.
So we got dressed in our new outfits, grabbed our bikes, and went out to where the other kids would gather every year on Christmas to join the caravan.

Kids with new bikes would lead the pack, but any kid with a bike could and would join. Namely the kids who got a bike last year, etc. For a couple years I had watched all the other kids riding past every hour or so as they rode through every block on our area picking up more and more kids from other hoods until there was like 20-30 kids all riding and being joyous.
Back then envy was still part of my make up. I was only a child of course and had not yet learned that envy is a very undesirable trait. One that I must eradicate from my psyche.
But this year was different. We were now among the haves. Versus the have nots.

At one point in the middle of the day, I told one of my best friends Junior (Danny Gibbs) that, “with my new clothes and bike, today I feel as good as everybody else. Instead of how I normally feel. Which was “not good enough” because I normally have old, torn, dirty clothes”. He empathised with me and said yeah. It feels good to feel good. As good meaning equal.
How sad. I lament for the child I was back then. This is a horribly damaging way to feel about oneself. YET, children are quite resilient. Somehow, I made it through……

BMX dreams vanquished…..

Oh! The irony! My own personal Hindenburg disaster.

The yearly Christmas break lasts around 2 weeks. THIS is about how long I had my bike.
The Sunday night before we were to return to school the following day, my bike was stolen off my front step by a crackhead.
BMX dreams vanquished.

Fast forward 2 years later, at around age 14 I decided that I wanted to be a skateboarder. My logic was I could take my skate everywhere with me, and thus not have to leave it outside. This is due to having yet another BMX stolen. One I had worked all summer landscaping with my Uncle James (the wisest man I have ever known despite only having a 3rd grade education) to purchase with my own money.
This particular bike had been stolen from the mall. Where I had gone to purchase a lock so it would not get stolen.
Oh! The irony!!!!

“If not for bad luck, I would have no luck at all”……..
I could really relate to this saying. Why me? Self pity. All that, but then suddenly, I decided to go stoic and take control of my emotional health by simply not giving a damn.
By this point my family had totally imploded, my Dad was gone and was a migrant farm worker who knows where. My mother was deemed unfit and I had been playing a cat and mouse game with family services who were always coming to try to take my siblings and I out of the environment we lived in because it was neglectful and unsafe.

I would often lie to the family services people and make up some sort of excuse as to why my mom wasn’t home…..
“Oh, she just left to go to the store and will be back soon.” When in all reality, we had not seen her for 3 weeks because she was out “running the streets” and feeding her cocaine addiction. We should have been removed and put into foster homes many times. There but for the grace of God we were not.

30 years later, take 2…..

“I love this music life, but engaging it hurts more and more now. Where are all the friends I used to have that would write to be on my guestlist at P-Bar, Concrete, and Corsica studios? Where’s the crew? Were any of those relationships real?”
I was now in the place I had worked so hard to never be in. Alone and friendless, in a foreign country. Broke, and about to be homeless.

“And if you’re gonna fall, they won’t be around, y’all” – Q-Tip

The party scene is cool, but then again it’s all the same
You see the same faces, but at different places
When you’re up and ridin’ high everything is palsy-palsy
Get a million pounds and all the skins give you hugs
” – Sadat X

(I grew up listening to this imagining the day that I would be a world renowned musician, so I took this to heart as a cautionary tale. Thus I sought to prevent ever falling victim to the pitfalls they spoke of……. to no avail)

“But before it all goes to hell, I’m going to make the most of what might be the last summer with my child before I am forced to tuck my tail, and return back to the States in shame and defeat”. Thus, I decided to purchase the best secondhand BMX bike I could with some of my rapidly dwindling funds.
I found one on Blocket. The Swedish ebay/craigslist for cheap, but I had to catch a bus 20 miles outside town and then ride I back home. This was the beginning of what would become a series of 8 plus hour days riding my bike. And learning to trick it. Finally. After 30 years away from BMX.

As a child I sucked. I couldn’t wheelie, and I could barely bunnyhop, but I was the best ramp jumper on my block at least. That is, until Terry Cohens would come over and jump with us. This guy had wings. No one could jump further or higher than he could. We used to set up plywood on cinder blocks to make a wedge “jump ramp” and ride it from right after school, until way past sundown.
(The year after my bike was stolen, a friend’s mother let me have her son’s old bike that had sat rusty in the backyard for a couple years. That was the beginning of my bike building, mechanic hobby. Of which I became pretty good at. This occured in between the stealing of my 2 brand new bikes)

So back to summer 2018. I set 2 goals. teach Indigo how to ride a real bike, and teach myself how to 360 tail-tap (bunnyhop). Both were accomplished, and documented on a vlog series I made. I was quite naive to think that anyone in the scene would watch it, but mostly I made it to inspire other “old guy’s” like me who wanted to take up riding again in their middle age years. Hopefully it has.

Shady dealings…..

Socialism is great on paper, but in practice it falls victim to the baseness of man. Case in point, the praktic situation in Sweden.
The state sponsors it, and supplies local businesses with free labor. Then they pay what amounts to about fifty cents an hour to the workers. The idea is that the practitician will receive on-the-job training at no cost to the employer who will then hire them. But what happens in reality it is what we Swedes call “milking the system”.

Businesses take on prospective workers and continue to renew their internship until the state no longer pays. Then they get rid of you and request new praktik workers. Thus gaining an un-ending stream of free labor.
This is what happened to me. But before it was over, I learned the ins and outs of traditional Swedish cuisine to add to my already extensive base of culinary artistry.

I was already a decade past the point where my Chef, Mr Victor Shavers had told me that for me to go to culinary school would be a waste of time and money since I already cooked on the level of a journeyman Chef. The other thing I learned was how to work under a very demanding, mentally unstable, micromanaging, and unreasonable employer. The “boss’s wife”.
She made my life hell daily, but I could see the big picture quite early on.

I was put in that place for the time I was to acquire a skill I had yet to develop. That was “shut up and deal with unreasonable people gracefully”.
So much humble pie was eaten there. Yet because I had committed “internet suicide” a few years back by coming across as ignorantly arrogant, I embraced the opportunity to gain a skill that having lacked a few years back was directly responsible for my having “fallen off”. And thus no longer being popular enough to deserve to earn a living gigging in the scene I had all but sacrificed my life for.

Every day I would think to myself, “I may never get my career back, but at least I am working to be a better person than the me I was”.
Take a bad situation and make it good. This is my way. My entire life is built upon this. I really never had a choice in the matter. It was either adopt this mentality, or languish and die.

Cock Blockers……

The whole reason I was even at the hotel I shall not name working in it’s kitchen is because one of the Chefs, an Australian who was on paternity leave. As his first child had just been born. During the 2 weeks he was gone I continued to be told that soon I would have another native English speaker to chat with when he came back.
All seemed cool at first. I mostly kept to myself, but I was friendly. And would chat if questioned.
I didn’t really talk much about my “music life” although they all knew that this was part of my past. As I had to put my prior work history on the hiring documents.

Eventually I was asked for links to music, videos, and such. To which I acquiesced. “This won’t end well” I thought to myself. As I have become well familiar with envious types, haters, and the like. I was often asked why I would choose not to be working as a “celebrity” instead of working a “crappy day job?” Their words. Not mine.

“Stability for my child” I replied. “The music industry is usually feast or famine, and I as father I need a more “middle path” existence. Meaning less up and down swings that are so drastic and disruptive.
I explained that I had already lived a life that far exceeded my wildest dreams, so now my focus was on creating the conditions for my son Indigo to do the same. Then it happened.
The cute Thai girl started working there……

The chemistry was apparent immediately. Great vibes, little flirts here and there, but there was a hitch. The dude who just had a baby liked her. It was so obvious. But he would try to be sneaky and hide it from his sister in law who also worked there.
I screwed up by telling him that I was going to ask the Thai hottie out. The very next day she was acting weird.
One plus one equals fuckery……..

I can never know exactly what was said after I left for work that day.
I do know that some bitch ass playa hating cock-blockery had occurred. (As I left at 5 pm daily, but they stayed until 9 pm to close).
But she went cold and distant. So of course, I did too. As not to play myself for a chick who was showing zero interest. “Beta Orbiter” Been there. Done that. Never again. So the budding romance was killed before it ever lived.
I went home that day inspired by the fuckery and wrote the Hip House song “Cock Blockers”
Take the bad and make it good. Right? 😉

Please come tour Australia?????

That totally came out of nowhere, didn’t it? I was so far removed from the idea of ever gigging again that it took quite a bit of convincing by Gregory Lambert of Solid Circles touring to even get me to decide to do it. In fact, the only reason I agreed is because it seemed like the people at the hotel were going to screw me over and not hire me. On some “milking the system” type steez. Which is exactly what happened.

Ok, I got the makings of a summer tour. Let me see what I can do here…?
TRESOR!!!!!!!!!! Diana Ninka is the best! And always comes through. I will request a gig at Globus to start my summer tour. And of course, Diana and Tresor showed love.

I had not played there in over three years. And in fact had not played anywhere, a club or at home in almost 11 months. Pressure!!! “I need not to suck!” Better do a sound check before the gig just to shake off some rust from not even being in a club and hearing music at that volume since my gig at Chalet Berlin a year prior….

(turns out I was fine and playing Globus is more comfortable to me than at my own home).

“I’ll also need to make some new tracks then”, I thought to myself, since for the last 5 years, quite a bit of the music I was playing was my own unreleased material

Catacombs 2…….

“The Wise Old Owl”
Owls are often seen as mysterious, mostly because many owls are strictly nocturnal and humans have always found night to be full of mystery and the unknown.  Owls live within the darkness, which includes magic, mystery, and ancient knowledge.  Related to the night is the moon, which owls are also connected to.  It becomes a symbol of the feminine and fertility, with the moon’s cycles of renewal.

Inspired and with a sense or purpose, I was on fire. In less than 6 weeks I wrote the Zero dark Thirty EP, The Wisdom EP, and a couple more records that have yet to see the light of day, BUT….
the night I began to write Catacombs 2, I knew that I had something special on my hands.

It came together effortlessly. Like a literal gift from the heavens. I witnessed myself channel this track from a different dimension. Whole time knowing that this was not being done by me, but instead, through me.

I toured OZ testing out the new material and along the way realized that I was indeed born to be the artist known as Amir Alexander, and all that comes with it. Except that I needed to “get out of my own way” and let the spirit lead me. Humbly.
I had tried to do the work I was put on earth to do “my way”, but I was never given the gifts I possess for “self glorification”. No! I must glorify the “Higher Power” that bestowed said gifts upon me.

“Don’t call it a comeback. I been here for years”…… – L.L. Cool J

“Ok. So if I am to do this again, I must do it correctly. Let the music speak. There is no need to prove anything to anyone. As I have already proven to myself who and what I am to this scene. Let’s just have fun and spread positivity, joy and upliftment. It is my job to bring people up. Not down”…..
And so I began anew.

“Gotta get back on social media after a full year away. Here goes”……
Slowly, steadily re-branding. Demonstrating growth. Exuding compassion. Creating a new sub-genre, and making amends. Daily progress, but I will need to be on an agency roster to “level up” (next level myself).

RA has no love for the little guy. And me in particular. Ever since I expressed my displeasure at the shade throwing record reviews they gave me. I went so far as to even name my first EP on my first label “Idiot Savant Masterpieces” quoting an RA record reviewer I will not name here out of respect.

The day the review of the V/A I did with Plan B Recordings NYC came out, DJ Spider called me on the phone saying that he and Lola were not happy because RA had clearly missed the point and was dissing us and our record.
At that time I felt that at least they didn’t give us lower than a 3/5, but they were CLEARLY missing the plot.

Then I told Spider “I got somethin’ for they funky ass. Watch this? I am going to name my debut Vanguard Sound! EP “Idiot Savant masterpieces and it will be a hit.”

Once again, taking a bad and making a good. That record was repressed 4 times.

At any rate….

It appears that by acquiescing to corporate interests Resident Advisor has put itself in the position to be an institution that many, if not most of the scene has a love/hate relationship with.
Judging by the recent viral response to Alex (Omar S) telling them to get f-cked. Yet, as a full time working DJ, RA holds inordinate sway over whether I can earn a living or not. Just like most of the rest of what’s left of the true underground. Therefore, I reluctantly check for them from time to time…..

Then one day in November 2019, I saw that an artist I hold in high regard was starting a new label. So I clicked the icon to read about it. Thomas Melchior’s new label “My King Is Light” has just released it’s debut EP and it’s fire!
“Good for him”, I thought. As I genuinely wish my peers well. Understanding that music is not a “zero sum game”.
Meaning that just because someone other than me is winning doesn’t by default make be out to be losing. That’s a very lame point of view. And as previously stated, I decided at age 14 to NEVER be envious of anyone. Instead, I use a person’s wins as inspiration to achieve these things myself.

So with that said, I clicked off RA to check the book timeline. Thinking how cool it was for this new label to exist.
Then I thought, “Man! It would be lit to be able to release these two tracks I was hoping to give to Zip for Perlon on Thomas’s label instead.
Because Thomas and I have a history, and already know one another.
Less than 2 hours later, Thomas wrote me asking If I had some tracks to demo for his new label.
Yet another “Gift from the heavens”…..

True Story……

To be continued……..

Amir Alexander xx

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The definitive New Year’s fitness resolution guide.

Discipline is the bridge between goals and success.

Every year at this time, many people make a resolution to finally get their health and fitness in check. Every year the majority of them fail. This is usually not due to laziness, nor lack of will. It is due to lack of information, and or proper education of how to do so.
This final post of the decade is my humble attempt to help any and everyone who has this desire to finally break the cycle.

If you find yourself, or someone you care about in this category, please read on?

Gyms make a huge amount of their profits from a couple things. First of which is selling memberships to people they know will never utilize them. Especially in the U.S. where places like Planet Fitness and the like offer rock bottom prices. They can do this because they lock you into paying for a year knowing that 90% of the people who do this will give up and quit after a month.

Un-flexed, relaxed position. You can tell because my abs are not all bunched up, but long and loose.

How and why can they be so sure of this you might ask…
It is because most people have no clue of what they’re doing in the gym, or why they do it. There is a saying that goes “abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym.” This is absolutely correct

I see many people in the gym in the gym doing things that will NEVER help them achieve their fitness goals. They use horrible form doing useless movements that don’t target any particular muscle or muscle group. They simply try to move the most weight, versus actually working the muscle.

Useless exercises……

Take a simple dumbbell hammer curl for example. You see people with weights that are too heavy. They start the movement with their hips and lower back to get the weight moving, rocking their entire bodies as they lean to the side to bring the dumbbell up to their chin.
However proper form would be to stand completely still and flex the bicep. Slowly bringing the weight up to the nipple then slowly back down. Controlling the weight the entire time. THIS is how you train your bicep. The other way is more of a lower back and oblique exercise than anything. And a very poor one at that.
The goal is to work the muscle. NOT to simply move weight.

Speaking of oblique training, anyone who is doing side bends with weights or a machine is likely trying to slim their “love handle” region. However, the only thing training the obliques does is make your waist, and love handle region thicker. It is completely counterintuitive. A total waste of time. Especially since the obliques are a diagonal muscle. To train them properly one would do the “wood chopper” movement .Which is bending downwards diagonally.

Abs are made in the kitchen. Not the gym.

Since we are on the topic of a slimmer and more defined waist area, I have to address the fact that anyone who is not a Boxer, MMA fighter, or a Martial Artist in general is totally wasting their time training abs directly. There is zero need to do so. We train our abs indirectly with every exercise we do in the gym.
Once again, abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym. We all have well developed abs. They are just covered by a layer of adipose tissue.

You can’t out train a bad diet……

This is as true as any truth ever spoken. No matter how good your training program is, if you eat a bunch of empty, non-nutritious calories, you will never achieve your fitness goals. We are what we eat, so when one feeds their body calories that it does not even recognize as food, the body is forced to do the only thing it can. That is to convert these extra calories to fat so that they can at least be utilized in some way.

Doing Cardio To Lose Weight Is A Total Waste Of Time….

On any given day, in any given gym, one will notice that the majority of the people therein are utilizing the useless cardio machines. There are several reasons for this. They go as follows…..
Most people are trying to change their physique and improve their health. Simple to understand. And a very noble goal. However I feel so bad for them because they are totally wasting their time.

Why? You ask. Because doing cardio is the worst and most inefficient way to shed extra fat and get more lean. Here’s a bit of math. engaging in elliptical training for an entire hour would burn only 360 calories.
One could simply NOT ingest three of the following to get the very same result. A can of soda, a small bag of potato chips/crisps, a large banana, two medium cookies/biscuits, or a glass of orange juice.
Each of these is approximately 120-160 calories.

Better yet, one less Mac Donald’s Cheeseburger 300 calories, and a small french fry/chips/pomme frites 230 calories. Add a small drink 140 calories, and we are now up to 740 calories. But who eats just a small anything?
At 740 calories we are now at half the daily caloric allowance to maintain and not gain weight for the average woman. This is a third of the caloric allowance for the average man.
What’s worse is that eating these so called “foods” that are so low on nutrition will have a person hungry again in a couple hours or less.

So why do gyms even have this cardio equipment?????
Business. They are not in the business of helping people get more fit, lean, and or healthy. They are in the business of selling. Selling what? Dreams, memberships, and useless supplements. That’s what.
If people quit training after a month or two (like these gyms know they will), they still have you locked in for 10 more months of membership dues.

No one is there to teach people how to train, or how to eat more importantly; to benefit from proper training. Add to this the billion dollar (needless) supplement industry hoax, and you have a lucrative industry based on lies, shadows, and mis/dis-information.
They get rich off the ignorance of well meaning people who are trying to do the right thing.

Just Because We Can Eat It, That Doesn’t Mean That We Should….

Most of what is sold as food today is not at all food. It is “edible foodstuffs”.
Heavily processed, chemically engineered, and highly addictive poisons that are low on actual nutrients, and easily available at very low prices.
If it does not look like what it did when it came out of the ground, off the tree, out of the water, or when it was (humanely) butchered, it is NOT food. And is slowly killing you.

These items are engineered to be highly addictive by teams of scientists who work tirelessly to refine the ultimate “pleasure factor” in these products. This is done by the perfect ratios if fats for mouth-feel, savory salts, and addictive pleasure causing sugars.

It was a difficult question for obesity researchers: do some people overeat because they find eating more pleasurable or gratifying than others? Logically, that makes a lot of sense–it’s a time-tested principle of psychology: if a behavior feels good, we’ll keep doing it. But a new study published today in the journal Science adds to a growing body of research suggesting the opposite: that women who derive less pleasure from eating may eat more to compensate, putting them at higher risk for weight gain and obesity. The research also discovered a particular genetic trait that, when present, is associated with an even stronger relationship between low sense of reward and overeating.

“If you ask overweight individuals if they crave food, I really think they are legitimately thinking it’s more rewarding,” says study author Eric Stice, a senior scientist at the Oregon Research Institute. “They’ll say they’re really sensitive to the rewards. But when you look at the brain scans you get a different picture.”

Previous brain imaging studies have looked at what happens when we look at pictures of food. In those cases, obese individuals tend to anticipate a higher level of satisfaction of eating the pictured food than lean individuals do, supporting the idea that the people who overeat are the ones who find it more rewarding. But the Science study was the first to do those same fMRI scans while participants were actually eating–or, in this case, drinking a chocolate milkshake. “Nobody had ever administered food to people in a brain scanner and looked at what happens in the brain while you’re eating,” says Stice. “Now we have evidence that, when you give an obese individual a chocolate milkshake, there’s less of a response going on.”

* “The Pleasure Factor: Why Food Is So Addicting?”
By Newsweek, Newsweek11/17/2008 05:12am EST | Updated November 17, 2011


The nation of my birth is the U.S.A. Commonly known as the most obese country on earth. Coming up second on this list is the UK. Per captita, they are poised to surpass the U.S. in just a few years. There is also Ireland, Qatar, and so on. What these countries all have in common is the amount of sugar consumed.

Sugar is a highly addictive drug. One that fires up the brain’s pleasure centers just as much as any narcotic. If not more. Like heroin, it re-wires the brain and causes the person who ingests it regularly to need it. Or they suffer very un-pleasurable withdrawal symptoms. And even depression.

There are two forms of sugar. Glucose, and fructose. The body converts all carbohydrates into glucose to feed our calorie hogging brains, and for glycogen that our muscles need to do their work.
Fructose is not even recognized as food by the brain. When eaten, it goes directly to the liver, which induces an insulin spike that tells the body to store the empty calories as fat so the body can actually utilize them.

This over time can cause type 2 diabetes as the body becomes more and more insulin resistant due to spiking it so much so often. 100 years ago, type 2 diabetes and cancer were unheard of. These are modern, man-made diseases brought on solely by poor dietary practices.
We are literally eating ourselves to death.

Liquid calories…..

This horrible chain of circumstances is compounded by the fact that many in westernized society consume 25-30% of their daily caloric intake by drinking them.
The body/brain does not register these liquid calories as food. Therefore, one could easily drink half of their entire daily caloric requirement in one sitting and still be hungry enough to eat the other half at the same sitting by having a basic fast food meal.

In fact, the basic fast food meal is easily 50-200% of our calorie requirements.

So with upwards of 100 grams of sugar, starchy white flour, way too much sodium (which leaves us bloated and holding excess water), and unhealthy man-made fats, we get an epidemic of overweight, yet malnourished individuals and families.

Fat is good…

In fact, natural fats are vital and healthy. Olive oil, sunflower oil, nuts, butter, eggs, and even animal fats are vital to good health, brain function, and the endocrine system.
Our brains are comprised mostly of cholesterol, i.e. fat.
The real culprit is sugars, and starches. These things are what raise bad cholesterol. Not fat.

Fat does not make people fat. Eating more calories than you burn makes a person fat. And when we eat things that constantly raise our insulin, it sends a signal from our liver to the brain to store these calories as fat.
I will not get into why these things are allowed to happen in this blog post, as it is already too long, and there is so much to cover with this regard.
If I see a good response, and or high interest in this type of information, I will elaborate in detail in future posts.

Overweight and Dopamine….

There is no denying that some people are born with a natural, genetic predisposition to struggle with weight. Yet they are a rare exception and NOT the rule.
For most, the problem is self induced. Mostly by lack of education. Followed by the ubiquitous availability of cheap, convenient, non-nutritious, highly subsidized, and highly addictive products that are sold as food.
So once a person becomes overweight they become trapped in a vicious cycle triggered by becoming overweight which goes as follows.
A person who is over weight has diminished their capacity for dopamine released when eating food between 20-50%. This means that they must eat more to derive the same amount of pleasure from a tasty treat.
Since many who find themselves in this unfortunate category are “pleasure eaters” due to having fallen prey to the scientifically manufactured addictive properties of these “foods”, they seek pleasure in eating.
This is a very vicious cycle indeed.

On top of that, if a person is actually able to become more lean and take the excess fat off, they can only eat 80% of what a person of the same weight who was never heavy can.
Unfair? Yes, but it is a sad reality.

Fitness is a lifestyle….

Any dietary practices that cannot be sustained for life will inevitably fail. Just ask anyone who is overweight and has been a victim of “yo yo dieting”.
These drastic fad diets, pills, and magazine articles do not address the root cause.
Lifestyle got you there, and it is ONLY lifestyle that can get out out and keep you from ever going back.

Consistency Over Time…..

Getting the desired results from any fitness program, and or diet/nutritional plan requires a daily commitment. Consistency over a long period of time is the only way.
Many go into the new year highly motivated, and usually committed to improve their health and physiques. But after spending so much time, effort, and sometimes money with no results, they become disillusioned and give up.

The entire fitness industry makes it’s money on this fact. They function like the “medical industrial complex”. Which is to treat symptoms, but NEVER offer a true cure.
As a personal fitness trainer, it is bad business for me to tell you that no one really needs regular training for more than 16 weeks. That it unless they are a bodybuilder prepping for a show, or some other extreme case.
Money is made in this industry long term by never telling people what they need to know to succeed.
Or by never telling them what they really need to know in order to set realistic goals and stick to them.

But I actually want to help people. I do this by telling you the truth.
If I can help anyone improve their health, looks, and self esteem by taking control of their fitness, I am more than happy to do so.
Of course I seek clients for personal fitness coaching, and or nutritional planning. BUT my goal is to help you to not need me as soon as possible by helping people develop a new, and sustainable lifestyle.
THIS is what any personal fitness trainer worth the money will seek to do.

Cook your own Food….

Preparing inexpensive, nutritionally sound, healthy meals at home is very easy when you have the will and proper education with which to do so.
Anyone claiming otherwise is either lying, misinformed, and or have never tried.
I am living proof. I live way out in the countryside with only a bike and a backpack to transport my groceries.
I have lived on a starving artist’s budget for a few years now, but never have I had to resort to eating fast food as my primary source of sustenance.
If I can do it, anyone can, as I have literally been living in third world conditions for some time now.

Track Your Macros…

A key component of a sustainable fitness lifestyle is learning how to, and getting into the habit of tracking your macronutrient intake.
Macros are Protein, Fats, and Carbohydrates.
Proteins and fats are necessary for sustaining life, but carbs are not. When getting lean, it is carbs one should cut. NEVER fats, in fact, some people employ a ketogenic diet to help lean out. This diet is up to 80% fat.
More on this diet in a future installment….

I track every single thing I eat, every singe day down to the gram. I typically know exactly what I will eat for the entire day before I even have breakfast. This is “nutritional planning”, and whether we are trying to become more lean, or to simply maintain a healthy and ideal weight, it behooves us all to make this practice a habit.
There are many apps and websites that make doing so extremely easy. So there is simply no excuse for not doing so. With the exception of not knowing how to read. But if you couldn’t read, you would not be reading this right now LOL! is my go to website/app for this purpose. Consider it a facebook for fitness. In that you can interact socially, but it also has free tools to help you calculate and track for proper macros. Along with calculators to help you lose, gain, or maintain your weight.
Please check it out?
You can even add me if you want.

True Story….

Happy New Year! May 2020 be the beginning of an amazing new chapter in your lives.
With the utmost love and respect.
Yours Truly,
Amir Alexander xx

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Famous, but not popular…..

coming back to facebook after over twelve months without a personal profile.

Anthony Pearson, a.k.a. Chez Damier once told me

“Be careful of whom you allow into your personal world. As, when a person is as real as you are, most will not understand what they see, and will use it against you”. Another thing he told me was to be ready to make the choice as whether to sell out or not to be able to continue to work in this industry. He said that it is unavoidable and every artist of renown will eventually come to this crossroad.
He also so told me that this in part was one of the reasons he took the several year hiatus he had only recently (at the time) come back from. Brother Chez is a wealth of information, and often has good advice for the younger generations of artists. In this case, as usual (based on my experience with him) he was spot on.

Famous, but not popular

Key Difference: ‘Famous’ is a person who is well-known for his good or worthy reasons. They are known by many because of their achievements and works. ‘Popular’ is well-liked by most people.

There is not much to describe between the terms ‘Famous’ and ‘Popular’. They can be used as synonyms, but in some terms a particular phrase is used.

Famous are people well-known by others but not much loved by others. An example of famous is a movie star. A movie star is well-known by others by their acting, personality or what all role they take in a movie. But as a human being, it is not necessary that he would be liked by everyone. ‘Famous’ people can be politicians, models, singers, etc. and they are all recognized by a lot of people, usually by the general public.

Example: Osama Bin Laden is famous, but he is not liked by anyone. That means notorious people can be famous but not popular.

Famous as an adjective is:
known about by many people.

Famous synonyms are:
renowned – celebrated – noted – well-known – famed.

Popular means you are well-liked by those who know you in your little world. Popular is like being common. ‘Popular’ example in a sentence:

  • A popular holiday resort.
  • She is very popular with children.
  • A popular theory.
  • Popular with the visitors.
  • Popular history of India, Britain, etc.

Popular as an adjective is:

1.  Liked, admired, or enjoyed by many people or by a particular person or group.

2.  (of cultural activities or products) Intended for or suited to the taste, understanding, or means of the general public rather than selected few.

Popular synonyms are:
folk – demotic – public

A popular can be any thing, place or name. It is acceptable that one who is popular can be famous but the one who is famous is not necessarily popular among everyone. Popular are of course famous and are loved by others. Famous may not be much loved by others.

Generally, famous refers to RECOGNITION and popular refers to REPUTATION.
Copyright © 2019, Difference Between | Descriptive Analysis and Comparisons

Not much about facebook has changed in the 12 months I was gone

except perhaps it’s culturally destructive attributes have been fine-tuned and all the more effective. Of course there are bright spots. Reconnecting with friends and true fans of my work is nice. This is one of the last remaining positives to be found therein.
However meme culture has all but destroyed original thought patterns, ideas, and how one interacts and or responds to such things.

I see some people post more than 30 memes a day. A lot of fear porn, pseudo uplifting blue pill psycho-babble word salad, and or attention whoring type feels over reals “wisdom” (to use the term loosely) in order to receive their likes and heart reactions with which to feed their dopamine hit addiction. To each, his/her/their own. People gotta do what they gotta do to cope in this world. I do not judge.

I left social media in order to address real life issues. As facebook/social media is NOT real life. I had learned if you try too hard to push realness thereon, you will not be popular. To me social media had become a depressing downer. Twelve months later, all the things that brought me down about social media have been amplified, however I am now (mostly) immune. I did this by grounding myself in reality. And making sure that I do not seek validation from any source other than myself, my son, and the scriptures.

Now of course as a professional musician…..

being popular and externally validated is what determines the difference between literal feast or famine. Being that I am 100% in this, and so deep that I cannot get out, my sole means of income is my work as an artist.

Yesterday I saw a facebook memory post from a peer from Detroit. It was a gig we both played in Berlin. I then saw that this was five years ago. Just before the “black-balling” I’ve suffered for the last five years began in full force. The full gravity of the situation I have been forced to endure hit me like a ton of bricks.

Despite being orders of magnitude better at my craft….

I’ve only had four bookings this entire year thus far.
The saying it’s not what you know, it’s who you know is painfully true. Yet, I continue to pursue my craft in attempts to master all aspects of it. Why? Some may ask. Especially since I cannot eat and or survive off my labor. The answer is because I am an artist. This is who I am, and what I do. It was for the 25+ years I did it before becoming famous. And it is yet still in the 5 years I have not been allowed to make a living contributing to the culture I love.

So back to social media….

A real friend whom I have known since we were 13 to 14 years old recently in-boxed me after a post I made. He spoke about people who post original content (as I do) versus those who flood his timeline with the thoughts and ideas of others. Original content versus non-original. These days, the private compliments, comments of encouragement on my post feeds, and the listens/views I get are the only currency I receive with regard to my art, and or the music industry I am so deeply entrenched in.
This is the only payment I get. Although as I stated before I do nothing online with regard to my art for external validation.

I often wonder….

Will I ever be able to gig as I used to? This is my job after all. One I am very good at mind you. Ask anyone who’s seen me play. I do not trumpet myself. This is what I am told. Over and over. All the time.

So back to fame versus popularity…..

I have been back on social media for just over one month, and in that time I have received hundreds of add requests. Not a bad thing, and I am not complaining. As I truly wish to be connected with people I actually know, and professional peers I respect.
I do however find it interesting that there are hundreds of requests from people I have never met, This leads me to ask myself “am I that popular?”
And if I am, where are the gigs? LOL!

Some people have a handful of releases, and or put out one or two tracks every several years (if any), yet are fully booked up to a year in advance.
While there are other artists with ten times the discography being told that in order to receive work, they must continually release more and more music. Though perhaps different, although often the same styles of music; track for track their music is just as good as the media darlings. Yet they struggle to work.
Does anyone ever give this phenomena (besides the people it affects adversely) any thought?

The recent social media sh!t-storm over cultural appropriation…

It never ceases to amaze me as to what is deemed news-worthy by the industry press. Yet, I understand that sensationalism pays the bills, and we all gotta eat.
Personally I could care less. As a starving artist who strives to be in the lineage of the great black U.S. artists like Robert Johnson, Billie Holiday, Bernie Worell, Charles Mingus, Eric Dolphy, and Sam Cooke, etc. I have much bigger struggles to deal with. Many of which are the exact same they dealt with. Being famous internationally with a lauded discography, yet courting poverty their entire lives.
If history records me and my work in this generation worthy of being in said lineage, I will have accomplished what I set out to do. The gift is the curse as they say.

Back to the cultural appropriation aspect, there has been a push to recognize the struggles of the under-represented in recent years. Which on the surface sounds wonderful. As everyone should get a fair chance to compete in this highly competitive industry.
For much too long many have been marginalized in a culture people just like them helped to create for all of us to enjoy.
However, when the conversation of gender and or ethnic minorities is broached; my particular demographic therein is always conspicuously absent. I often wonder why this is. I also wonder, “does anyone else notice this? Do they even care?”
But alas…. This is my own personal cross to bear, and it is nothing new with regard the international entertainment industry. Nor do I see it changing any time soon. I, like most people of color just accept it as the price of admission and get on with creating the best art I can. This, and being the best person I can be.

True story…

words written with love, respect, and compassion for all of humanity. I do not judge anyone for doing the best they can to play the hand that life has dealt them.
Warmest regards,
Amir Alexander xx

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7 years completed. The 8th begins today. (An editorial essay)

Amir Alexander. Father, Artist, Lover, Man.

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” ― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

This quote pretty much sums it up. In 2012 I celebrated my 40th birthday in Paris for the first time, on my first international tour. In many ways the past seven years have been a dream come true. Yet, in a few particular ways it has been a living nightmare. Whether good or bad, I can truly say that I am grateful for every minute, and ultimately wouldn’t change a thing. The highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. These things have forged me into the man I am today. I am finally the person I have always wanted to be. The man I presented myself as to the entire world.

Much of the good I have done, put out, and or achieved is why you all are reading this now. Thank you for rocking with me. All of the bad are things I can never live down and must wear for the rest of my life. This I accept and have learned from.
I have been impatient, offensive, and seemingly arrogant. I have also been a fool for women who did not value the love they undeservedly got from me. Love they could never value because it was given too easy. Undying devotion must be earned. Now I know.

As I write this, I see that this pattern played itself out in many of the friendships I tried to foster. None of which I seem to have now. Live and learn, as the saying goes. Some will, some never do. It takes hella courage and humility for an entertainer to admit this publicly. I do not seek a pat on the back for doing so. I do it under the spirit of making amends to those I made feel bad along the way. I also do it as a cautionary tale for young artists coming after me. Hopefully they can learn from my mistakes.


Truth is like fiat currency. It only holds value when the the parties concerned agree to give it value. Thus, truth is actually relative. Not absolute. What is true for one man, woman, trans, or other, may not hold the same value for someone else. It is best to not force your truth on another person.

“Mistakes are the best teacher, I’ve learned a lot.” – Andy Bassich Life below Zero. The understated profundity of the way he said this hit me like a Mack truck. I don’t watch television, but I became aware of this show when going over to my child’s mother’s place to get him ready for pre-school on my custody days that started at 7:00 am.

The Flight Of Icarus

I am he. Icarus is an Ancient Greek mythological character. One whom, through hubris brought upon needless personal tragedy. In short, his father the craftsman Daedalus the creator of the Labyrinth, sought to escape the island of Crete with his son. The means by which were wings he made from feathers and wax.

Icarus’ father warns him first of complacency and then of hubris, asking that he fly neither too low nor too high, so the sea’s dampness would not clog his wings nor the sun’s heat melt them. Icarus ignored his father’s instructions not to fly too close to the sun; when the wax in his wings melted he tumbled out of the sky and fell into the sea where he drowned, sparking the idiom “don’t fly too close to the sun”. In wearing my proverbial “heart on my sleeve”, and trying to force my truth at the time, I flew too high to the sun and crashed.

Blessed Are The Meek

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5 King James Version (KJV).
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I firmly believe this. This is one of my personal truths. Some of you may agree. Others may not. We are both correct. As truth is relative.
I am a man of faith. However, I do not force my beliefs upon anyone. True faith does not work this way. I learned this too from making mistakes. My beliefs are my personal truth. Some believe, many do not. Christ teaches love and tolerance.

He ministered to the sinners and publicans. People whom the religious leaders of the time considered unclean and unworthy of sharing space with. Many believers could benefit from His example. It is not for us to judge one another. We are taught to love. This too, is my truth. As an entertainer who makes his living in the popularity contest (make no mistake it most certainly is) known as the music industry, we are subject to the whims of popular opinion.

It is what it is, and I accept this whole heatedly. Music is a deeply personal, as well as emotional medium. Thus, our job is to uplift and provide positive emotions. Not to bring people down. To be a source of bad vibes is to miss the point, and is quite irresponsible. For, if we have made it to the international public sphere people are open to us. Cause unpleasantness and people will react by closing off to you. This is a basic survival reflex.
Lesson learned. x

The Phoenix

Referring once again to Ancient Greek mythology, I identify with the myth of the Phoenix. More specifically, Icarus Phoenix-ing out of the ashes of his former self. Purified by fire. Associated with the Sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. According to some sources, the phoenix dies in a show of flames and combustion.

This entire journey from the me I was, to the me I am now has occurred under the scrutiny of the public eye. Super harsh, and brutally painful, I am extremely grateful for it. From 2012’s Freshman of the Year to Persona non-grata and back, these past seven years have been a wild ride.


It is often said that when one is suffering malaise (physical, emotional, or otherwise), they should seek out others worse off to help. Who on this earth is more helpless than a newborn child?
My son is the best thing I have ever done with my life, by far. He has provided the impetus for me to both grow, and man up. I show him my gratitude daily by being the father I wish I would have had. Being a great father comes quite naturally. Parenthood is another of my truths. I wish that everyone could experience the infinite joy therein. Yet, I respect people’s decision to partake.

Moving forward

I am currently building a music career from the stage one beginning, as though I never had one. This too, is a blessing. As I get to live out the saying “if I could go back in time knowing what I know now”. Can you imagine? This opportunity is amazing. I have all the “clout” afforded an artist who has achieved all I have, yet everything is fresh and new. For this, I am infinitely grateful.

The past seven years have set me on the path to fulfilling my potential as an artist, a man, and a loving human being. I am well on my way to becoming a truly righteous dude. It just took me learning how to get out of my own way. Upwards and onward, as the saying goes.

That said…..

The medium is the message, and the message is LOVE.
True story.
Amir Alexander xx

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Fear and Loathing in Jax Beach (Day trip gone bad)

“black empty eyes, teenage runaway jail bait, and the police”

Three Fountains

In the days before I began engaging in club “libational activities”, I was a Jazz Man. Double Bass Viol was my axe. As we say in the biz, “Upright Bass”. Bebop was my scene and it was all about building up my chops. At this time I shared a low rent 2 bedroom apartment with one of my two besties from high school in a Complex called Three Fountains.

Well past it’s glory days in the mid 1950’s the namesake three fountains now languished. Dry and filled with that grey Florida sand/soil, pebbles, an old shoe, and a few crack vials. One could imagine the way they stood quite regal in that old Florida art-deco style. Once upper middle class, the majority of the residents were now lower income families, students, and social outcasts.

picked up hella strays, init

Mike and I were on the lease. We both had full music scholarships, book allowance, and Pell Grants, etc. Mike also had a job at Subway sandwiches. His assistant manager was also named Mike. Somehow other Mike began to sleep over. Then live there. Then came his homie Afa Grant. The best (meaning worst) con-man I have ever met. He had a knack of finding and befriending drug dealers. He would eventually set them up to get robbed. Over time he and I became so close people thought we were brothers.
More on that in the future.

Other Mike had this very creepy ex-girlfriend who had some kind of weird sex thing in the past with Afa. She came to live with us when other Mike went to jail for a statutory rape charge. Apparently he was dating a 16 year old who lived in a trailer park.
Other Mike also had a sister who was around 25 at the time making her the hot older woman of the group. She came with a boyfriend who had just returned from living on a Navy ship. He wore the PopEye suit and all. Then there was the dude we called Mr. Wendal.

Mr. Wendal (after the song by the group Arrested Development) because he was a homeless dude who worked with the Mikes at subway. Bro would steal subway meat and eat it by the pound. His sandwiches were 30 slices of roast beef on both sides with 50 slices of turkey, and 25 slices of cheese in between. No bread. No veggies. Zero fiber. Dude would spend an hour on the toilet and shut it down for another two.

what the friggin hell

Perplexed, I found myself wondering “How did all these extra people end up living for free in our apartment? What is going on here?” After what seemed like forever, but was maybe only 2 months, they leave.

My friend Adam is a senior in high school and comes up to visit every weekend so he can be reckless with us two college freshmen. This year he has been selected to represent our Alma matter at Tri-State Honor Band as I had done the year prior.
I decide to take the trip up to Tallahassee with him to visit my ex girlfriend who attends classes at the university the event will be held.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

I’ve got a couple few trips under my belt at this point. The first was trip dope. It was with my ex girlfriend Amy at Florida State University. She was now a sophomore in the Marching Chiefs Band. She like me, played tuba, Or in her case sousaphone. It was amazing. She was an excellent vibe guru.
The second time was NUTS!!!! It most definitely needs it’s own episode. In fact, we’ll explore it next time.

So so, this particular weekend Afa and Mike will be gone on Saturday and Adam isn’t coming up. I’ve decided to do my first solo trip. A day trip of peaceful reflection, poetry, philosophy, and listening to the wild ways in which music mutates. What could go wrong?
Famous last words.

black empty eye holes

It’s cool, the dudes leave and I drop. Just as the trip begins to kick in, this one super sketchy dude Afa knows comes over looking for him. He’s with this one slutty girl from round the way who’s cool, but mad easy. Their eye holes are empty and black. He asks if he can take her up to my room so they can have sex. “FUCK NO!” I think to myself. They look at me startled as I realize I had actually screamed it aloud. Opps. My bad.

I tell him that I can take him a few places he might be, if he can run me over to see my man raver Russ, aka “Kid Nitrous”. He got that name because he used to suck whip-it gas straight from the huge tank in between filling balloons of laughing gas being sold at parties. Dude would go all blue lip and pass out humping the tank. One time he froze his mouth to it.

More on nitrous Russ later, as he most certainly needs his own chapter. Right now he’s just the roommate of my acid man and sometimes weed bro when my main, Jessie isn’t holding. Wow! I’ll most certainly have to do a few episodes on Jessie and his homie (Curious) George. Hilarious. This series is going to be so much fun!
But I digress….

gun play

We go a few places Afa and I would cruise, looking for him to no avail. Then we ride up into the hood where the Raiders have their trap house. There are 2 major gangs at the time. the Sox, and the Raiders. they wore the corresponding black baseball caps. Goofy and lame when you think about it, but they were lowkey feared in the streets.
At any rate, the dude I’m in the car with begins to chase this Raider kid in a Honda Civic. We pull up beside him and this fool pulls out a nickel plated Smith and Wesson 45 caliber cannon. He then proceeds to cock it and tell me that he and that dude fight on sight.
We chase this dude for miles. He eventually pulled into a neighborhood and started circling the block. I noticed that he would honk his horn every time he passed a certain house.

tables turn (for the worse)

After about three passes the dudes in the house catch on to what’s going on. They then start to pile up in their cars. All strapped up with their guns, they begin to chase us. I, at this point am a bit concerned for our safety. Yet, I don’t want to begin to have a bad trip so I remain calm.
We eventually pull into the police parking lot and act like we’re going in to shake off the heat. It works. “Holy crap! What just happened?” I think to myself. Next, I tell him to drop me off at friggin Russ’s place because Afa will be there later tonite. I can ride home with him. Somehow I’ve lost about three hours.

the cops raid?

As luck would have it, Afa had just called Russ from a payphone saying he was coming over right before I got there. The dude stayed, and they linked up do do whatever deal they had set up. Afterward, Mr. Soulless eyes and his crusty broad were off to get busy once they found a place to do so.

Russ had a cool apartment he shared with Chris and Cuff. It was a wild place. Chris was on house arrest from a prior drug bust. Needless to say, homie was hot. They had a couple very young girls over. Apparently the girls were living there now. We smoked some gravity bong hits and vibed out to the little mermaid. Which I had never seen.

“You ain’t never seen the little mermaid on acid?” asked Russ. “Nah man” I replied. “Well, you need to get on that” Right then, little mermaid it is.

A good two hours pass by and we’re all just talking and chilling. One of the girls is even cooking for us. Then suddenly there is a “Cop Knock” at the door.
We all freeze, startled. Russ asks who it is. “Police. We need to…..” That’s all anyone heard before everyone but Chris made a bee line for the backdoor running for dear life. We pour out into the back courtyard screaming and laughing wildly. Maniacally, even. There was a little old lady outside hanging up her laundry. We almost gave the poor lady a heart attack running up on her like that.

About 5 highly inebriated youth make a frenzied hundred meter dash to the other side of the courtyard. There was an 6 foot tall concrete wall. We run up, start throwing the girls over, then we shimmied up it ourselves and ran around the block. This way we could watch Chris’s place from the cut. By the time we got around front they were leaving.
We met Chris smiling at the door looking carefree. Heads was like “what the fuq?”

I’m done yo

Apparently the girls were indeed underage and the cops had been tipped off that they had been spotted there. Afa was going out to The Edge that night with Russ. Chris was chilling with the young ladies, but I was ready to blow that scene and go home.
“You comin’ out with us tonight, or are you all tripped out?” Afa asked. “I’m done yo. Take me home”

dwelt among the dregs

In the following months, occurrences like this seemed to become common place. I found myself hanging with a very “base” element. True losers who were headed nowhere fast. I would often think to myself,
“I do not belong here around these people. I actually have goals and dreams. If I continue down this path things will not end very well.”

I got deeper and deeper into the street life. Catching cases, dodging police, and becoming a very good criminal. Then one day I got a flyer for a rave. The rest is history.

House Music saved my life.

true story.